Anger is a common human expression just like happiness, sadness, disappointment, and excitement. This emotion typically stems from a lack of control over how certain situations or circumstances pan out, especially when the outcomes are not aligned with our expectations or value systems. All of us go through different stages of anger in our lives, depending on the severity of the situation that we’re grappling with.
So, anger is not really something that you should either suppress or wish away. However, not all anger is created equal. When the intensity or frequency of a person’s angry outburst is not proportional to the trigger, it can be classified as unhealthy anger. It is important to differentiate between these two types of anger to understand how to handle it in relationships.
Related Reading: How To Control Anger In A Relationship – 12 Ways To Tame The Temper
When people say anger ruins relationships, it is usually the unhealthy kind that they’re referring to. Lashing out, yelling or even resorting to abuse – these are all classic signs your partner has anger issues. If you notice them in your SO, you can be left wondering what’s the best approach to calming a partner who has anger issues.
Well, know that you cannot control your partner’s reactions or dictate how they express their anger. The best recourse is to focus on what you can do in the situation. If your partner has anger management issues and that makes you uncomfortable, remove yourself from situations where things can get volatile.
Related Reading: How To Deal With Resentment In Marriage? – Expert Tells You
At the same time, don’t let the ‘my partner has anger issues’ realization become a reason to bottle up how you feel or resort to the silent treatment to express your disapproval, frustration or angst. Instead, focus on communicating exactly what about their actions or choice of words made you feel hurt, angry or disappointed.