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Dealing with a setback

Vaishali Chandorkar

We are all humans and life is all about ups and downs. Nobody is excluded from this. We all suffer some setbacks sometime in our lives and it is the way we wade through it that characterizes us ….how we emerge out of it and take the reins of our life in our hands once again !

My lowest point came when I lost my husband and was faced with the grim reality of living the rest of my life without his presence, support and love. Initially , I crumbled …wanted to just let go, refused to believe it, thought I was in a nightmare and will wake up soon . But slowly, I had to come to terms with the fact that he was  no more and I had no choice but to live.I was angry with God , kept questioning him , why did this happen ? How could it happen to me? why Me?and got no answers ….

But I realised  my strength when this adversity struck  …I was a person who was totally dependent on my husband for smallest of things and here I was , facing the enormous challenge of looking after our 2 small children , carrying on in life , managing day to day affairs and earning a living to keep myself occupied.

And I realised that I could manage …slowly all things fell into place , I relocated to a new city, got a job , found school and college for my kids and life started again.Of course, I had a lot of help from family and relatives but I sallied forth with my children and discovered the city on my own, got engrossed in my job and children’s routines and started living again.

It is very tough when adversity strikes you but the key is to discover the strength within you ( which I believe now that we all possess and it comes to us when we need it )  and take life head on and come out of it , because remember, nobody likes whining beyond a point,  sympathy vanishes if one is always morose, and people find ways to avoid you …..so the sooner you grieve in private and be normal(as per society norms) the better you are equipped to deal with the situation.

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