“I don’t think you can survive without me” how often have we said that or heard that in a relationship. Husbands, lovers, live in partners after a point become a habit. So what do you do when the relationship ends, after the anger, accusations, hurt and tears? After the denial and the numbness comes the strain of picking up the threads and moving on. The healing is always difficult but critical. The focus is now on you not the jerk…
Yet there is a fondness for the ex that never really goes away. After time and distance perspective does come in and the memories of good times also creep in. You do remember some of the fun times, the things he did for you, his quirks, your shared history. Most of the times you wish him well and move on.
Most couples I know have been extremely affectionate at divorce courts. The sensible thing to do is let the past stay where it belongs…in the past.
Related reading: Divorce is about letting go, not holding on
Of course it does not work that way if you have kids or a shared business. You have to be in each other’s lives with new partners and the rest of the shabang.
It is a little civil if you work in the same profession or have common friends. Yet can you ever be friends with your ex?
Like friends but not lovers? Caring for each other but not fuck buddies? Turning to each other for advise but not being 4 am pals?
Seems like a tall order specially if either has a new partner. Yet some people seem to do it well. Happy in a rock solid relationship and a great friendship with someone who was once the centre of your life.
Related reading: Can we be Friends with our Exes?
Such a scenario has a whole lot of pros. There is a friend who totally knows you and cares enough to give you sane advice. Someone who can look out for you and stop you from making mistakes. Less awkwardness for friends and colleagues. A great working relationship because you know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. The strengths can complement each other when there isn’t the drama of having to do the couple things. An opportunity to gain good karma as you’re not letting someone down when the tide changed. Of course a wee bit of keeping your current partner on his toes also helps.
It sure requires a special kind of maturity to make this kind of arrangement work. The downside is that it is a comfort zone and the probability of slipping back into a coupled space is high. The issues that lead to the break up may still be there and that is not an additional stress you need in your life. While you maybe secure in your current relationship he may not be able to move on…a clinging dependent adult is not what you need. If he is with someone she may not like the idea of her man hanging out or working with his ex. This is also the kind of warm space that can lead to slip upssooner than you know it.
While we do admire the way Deepika Padukone is handling her current Ranveer Singh and ex Ranbir Kapoor professionally we aren’t too sure if Katrina Kaif shares our views! What the hell if Deepika has great chemistry with two hunks on screen and keep her peace off screen no one should complain.