The delicious irony of a jaded cynic working for a relationship-focused portal confronts me regularly. It rises like hot summer air and blasts me in the face every day. Here I sit, sipping my soy powder cold coffee, dusting off the cat hairs from the keyboard and wondering at how optimistic people are.
They have breakups, breakdowns, go broke, risk, and still return for more from the font of human relationships. They have hope.
I have friends who married several times, while I sit here wondering if even once was once too many. How do they know it will be right at this time? Are they just happy to try everything again, in the belief that with a different person the same situations will turn out differently?
The choices we make are unknowable in their outcomes. And the hardest thing to know is that in life you don’t have a Ctrl+z to undo, redo what is once done. You may go on to do something again, maybe better, maybe worse, but once it’s done, it stays done.
I watch with fascination as the stories unroll around me, like watching a documentary on a different species. I like the bubble I live in, staunchly ignoring the fact that it isn’t impermeable or durable.