A new brick everyday builds a strong foundation or a wall?

Communication is key to any relationship. Too much of one-sided communication also brings disagreement. So, how much communication is good? Does it build a strong foundation or sometimes add to building a wall in a relationship?

12 replies
Aabha Singh-Shah
September 12, 2017

12 comments

Dr. Sanjeev Trivedi
Dr. Sanjeev Trivedi December 30, 2017 - 7:54 pm

Communication need not always be verbal. In fact verbal communication has severe limitations because time constraints and conflicting priorities. What the couple has to learn is the meta-verbal communication. What one conveys with e body language is more important than what is being spoken. Even silence can be a powerful communication. A smile, a good glance, a gentle touch, caressing or a meaningful hug can be much more important than the spoken words. Most couples know this but wait for everything else to improve before they start the kind of communication, I am talking about. Whereas according to me non-verbal communication is a great problem-solver. Most individuals fall short in this refined art-form of communication.

Shivi Goyal
Shivi Goyal December 4, 2017 - 1:29 pm

Well, I feel communication is always a two-way process. Yes, even our silence is worthy and it talks. for any relationship, communication is one of the key which is very important for everyone.

Aabha Singh-Shah
Aabha Singh-Shah September 15, 2017 - 1:09 pm

@aparajita-dutta, the person I am talking about is my husband. I have known him for 10 years now. Married 2 years ago. He does bottle up every now and then to not burden me with any tension or stress but that takes a toll on him. He is an introvert and usually speaks very less. It is easy for me to decipher most of his moods but becomes a mammoth task when he doesn’t want anyone know. That puts a new barrier. I give him time to marinate in his thoughts and sort it out, wait for him to say it someday. But this lands me in the dilemma when my in-laws question me about him and I have nothing to answer. I cover up for him and tell him what I told them, still I have to wait for the actual cause. Patience is tested and then I have to probe. But now I know better, he needs to deal with his things first and be clear before letting me on it.

Aparajita Dutta
Aparajita Dutta September 15, 2017 - 12:15 pm

Dear Abha, communication should always be a two-way process. I don’t think there’s something called ‘too much of one sided communication’. If that’s the case, then it’s not communication at all, rather, the lack of it. You are trying to communicate but there’s no reciprocation. All of us are busy but we do make time for our peers. So, if the other person isn’t communicating, give it time. Or you might ask directly, what’s the reason. Some people live in their own world and communicate less even with their loved ones. He might be like that too. You can ask his family members too. If he behaves similarly with his parents and friends, then you must accept the way he is, if you want to be with him. Give yourself time and focus on your personal development. If he loves you truly, he will communicate when he’s comfortable. Don’t worry. But do notice the changes if there are any. Always remain positive but don’t overlook anything negative either. Take care and hugs.

Aabha Singh-Shah
Aabha Singh-Shah September 13, 2017 - 8:41 pm

@Meenu Mehrotra, that’s what I have been doing. Giving time to him and myself. Your words affirm my approach. This makes me feel a lot better.

Meenu Mehrotra
Meenu Mehrotra September 13, 2017 - 4:24 pm

You need to be patient Aabha. Even if he doesn’t talk much, find ways to probe into his heart and if it gets too overwhelming, just let him be for a few days
By then you would have gained more energy and he might be willing to open up too.
Remember, Buddha said, We lose what we cling to”
Let this worry and anxiety leave for a while- learn to surrender to what you can’t change- for the time being and then approach it again.
All the best!

Aabha Singh-Shah
Aabha Singh-Shah September 13, 2017 - 11:50 am

As everyone agreed that communication is important and it can’t be like novels where silence can be heard. What rattles me is when I probe but the words don’t make sense. The time is lost and the feeling of helplessness engulfs me. What I have done is find a common ground but sometimes the idea fails. My partner isn’t a person who speaks a lot and when stressed will bottle up. This only hampers the whole effort taken to build a communicating line for past few weeks.

Thank you gals. Your views and suggestions did give me a new perspective.

Tuli Banerjee
Tuli Banerjee September 12, 2017 - 8:01 pm

I believe communications can solve all kinds of grudges and ego issues. Honesty, trust and communication is the base of any relationship. Yes you are right in saying that one-sided communication brings disagreement – so everything needs to be balanced.

Shruti Swaroop
Shruti Swaroop September 12, 2017 - 7:48 pm

One needs to ensure thoughts and feelings are shared. Life isn’t like romantic novels or movies that the other person can understand unspoken emotions. Keep the channel of communication open. Walls are created when ego comes in relationships.

Pooja Priyamvada
Pooja Priyamvada September 12, 2017 - 7:41 pm

Communication can never be a wall , its more like a window, knowing the other person better and making them get to know you better.

Tina Vashishth
Tina Vashishth September 12, 2017 - 5:18 pm

I have felt that at times there is nothing one can say that will help the situation because two people are on such different tangents….then it is better to keep quiet!

Meenu Mehrotra
Meenu Mehrotra September 12, 2017 - 4:39 pm

Communication is never unhealthy- silence and action are also forms of communication- one has to
be perceptive to know when to use words, when to be silent and when to take action.
Walls are built when we resist or stop communicating.

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