Can a rebound do more harm than good, even when the two people involved know fully well what they have between them is not love?

22 replies
Dua Prayaag
June 7, 2017

22 comments

Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:21 am
JaeRajesh June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Relationships should be forged based on its own merit and not on the demerits of another one. Impulsive action doesn’t hold good in any relationship. A rebound is a classic example of an act of impulse. A relationship on the rebound is not based on mutual attraction or respect but of a desire to spite your ex and obliterate the remnants of that broken relationship. Such relationships rarely last and what’s worse, you’ll find it difficult to get back to the mental space of a stable, healthy relationship.

Abhijit Gadre June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

My bad.*p*

Dr. Conjurer June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

I think a rebound is an extremely personal choice and while it does help some people, for some others, it becomes a source of added pain and suffering. The latter, in my experience, happens because they look at the person to fill an emotional void whereas the truth is in most cases, a rebound is nothing but a stop-gap. And emotions aren't stop-gap.*p**p*Personally, a rebound helped me get back on my feet after a very dark phase, once I'd broken up. But yes, what's important is that both the people who get into a rebound are sure that that's all they want. They should be prepared for the short lifespan it has.*p*

Hridaan June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Yes it does harm your very personality. After breaking up we tend to feel very lonely or to be precise a little egotistical and that is when we bump into someone which may or may not make any sense. Most of the times it makes the future more complicated. When you realize that your decison was more out of heartbreak rather than love you start hating yourself for doing injustice to the rebound girl/guy who may have been trusting you all along. I feel that one should never take a hasty decision after break up and in its stead should take some time off and move on. As they say time is the best healer. *p*

abhijit gadre June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Rebound? This kind of before and after stories are mostly found in fairy tales. I have seen persons hating each other before and after the break-ups. How can they start loving each other? Not unless they were lost during the Kumbh Mela and found after years of pining and whining.

modernromeo June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

My personal opinion, a rebound may actually give the space one needs to think of the old relationship in a dispassionate way and also offer a much needed distraction! Of course one needs to handle it right!

modernromeo June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

This image says it all! *p*

Dua June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Point well takn!*p*

Dua June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Now I feel love is overrated.  There was a time I did not. and then he cheated  :)*p*

Dua June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

A rebound is with another person post a break up. It nay not be a good  thing for some, for some it helps heal if both the people involved know and acknowledge what they are in for. *p*

Dua June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

To know and acknowledge  it for what it is , Yes. Agree. *p*

Dua June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

It can complicated  but yes, if there is clarity , from the beginning, i guess, it may atleast help initiate the process of healing. *p*

Dua June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

True. *p*

Dua June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Yes, I guess honesty is required here. *p*

Dua June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Agree in totality!*p*

Dua June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Got it everyone! Thank you! I did not have a rebound and I will not hve one either! :)*p*

Mira June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Each one sets their individulas rules in relationships. If neither is looking for a relationship and on the same terms.. i dont understand why could it harm anyone..*p**p*But it does have its own risk. Eevn when you say you both know you're not in love, it doesnt mean you won't be hurt if things go well ahead for you. *p**p*Read this a while back, which is a common thing when it comes to rebound relationships.https://www.bonobology.com/relationship-counselling/103-my-boyfriend-has-gone-back-to-his-ex*p*

Urmi June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

I think rebound relationships have their uses, especially if they come with awareness. Healing can come in many forms. After a breakup, a person needs to be healed on the sexual, psychological and emotional levels. Attention and attraction from a new person can often boost one's ego and in the process, help deal with self doubt that comes with a break up. Everyone wants to be wanted. Physically too, no-strings attached sex may work wonders for a person who is suddenly tacklinng with an intimacy void. Sure it's no replacement for love, but it could be a great place to start picking up the pieces.  *p*

DarshanaDoshi June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

If 2 people are into it with clarity knowing well that it is just a need oriented relationship to give support to each other as good friends ..then it may not have adverse effect..*p**p*But if they fool themselves and each other thinking it's love then it can be catastrophic with a tragic end leaving one disillusioned…*p**p*Only Honesty works *p*

Madhuri. Y June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

A rebound really means you haven't given the space to yourself to heal and to learn from the previous relationship. Hence, rebounds aren't particularly healthy for long-term or even medium-term stability. The fact that we know that we are entering into a rebound relationship doesn't help. We are setting ourselves up for a relationship where we aren't able to give ourselves wholly and in a healthy way. And when the inevitable happens (including the events that lead up to it), it becomes a tougher thing to overcome.*p**p*Psychiatrists confirm that it takes our brain some time to overcome a trauma. If 2-3 events happen in quick succession, it doesn't get enough time to heal and we set ourselves up to ailments – temporary or permanent.*p*

Gaurav June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

The most obvious after effects and byproducts of letting a relationship go, or a break up is an internal ‘void’. And all voids demand some amount of filling up. Now, it demands how we feed these voids. Some people feed it through substance, some others feed it through emotional surplus. It is then that rebounds become handy. But these voids demand more and more filling. Therefore an alcoholic remains an alcoholic, or an emotional eater remains so. There is no stop to it or end to it. Plus, there is always some amount of collateral damage. So, before anyone goes for a rebound, one can stand back and think “what is this void all about”. It is important to identify it and mend it. It is important to have a relationship with yourself first – a healthy, kind, non-addictive one. And then search for a certain someone who can be with you, and spend the rest of your life or a part of it with you.

TapanMozumdar June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

I believe love is overrated. Between two people of opposite sex, there can be trust, comofrt, desire, dependency – all or a couple of these relationships – to make them be with each other. I guess more the number of the above relationships, more we 'feel' we are in love. They may be together as a friend, a colleague, a business partner, a relative. Whether this pair would finally grow needs for each other to spend their life, or a significant part of it, together, is fast changing with time. Thus, when one of the partners express a romantic desire for the other one and faces a rejection, it becomes difficult, embarrassing and, sometimes, outright impossible to share the same togehterness with objectivity.*p*

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