Can you love someone more than yourself?

I have often come across this expression, that “I love her/ him more than myself” or “I love her/ him more than my life”. Do you feel it’s a reality or is it just an exaggeration?

15 replies
Jae Rajesh
June 7, 2017


Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:21 am
Dipannita June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Yes, possible. I’ve seen and felt my Maa love me selflessly and many many notches more than she loved herself. I’ve felt it. When I see the relationship my son and I share, I know for sure that there are multiple instances when I’ve put myself first. I don’t see any harm in either. It’s only a win-win situation on both counts – one for the person being loved more and one for yourself.

Rishav Ray June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

When you say you love a person more than yourself what you really mean is that you are willing to sacrifice anything for the other's betterment. The only difference being some may mean it and some may say it for the sake of convenience. It takes years to build a relationship like that where a couple becomes each other's habit. Maybe a bond of more than 10 years can bring such confidence. *p**p*Not only lovers, this phrase can more fittingly describe the bond between parents and thier children. But in case of couples I think it takes a lot of time and effort to reach to that conclusion.*p*

Deepa June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

One surely can love someone more than oneself….you just have to so completely, entirely be in love to understand this….and when you are in such a relationship, you think only about the other and not about yourself….it’s easy….it’s simple…and it’s complete….*p*

TapanMozumdar June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

It is difficult to assess the boundary where passion and ego cease and blend into the horizons of selfless love. Often, romantic or conjugal relations are overwhelmed with the expectations and behaviours. Selfless love, when it exists, can’t differentiate between the love of a mother and a child or that between the lovers. Radha and Krishna are the mythical gold standards of selfless love. *p*Loving someone more than oneself, or rather, I May say that caring for someone more ha? oneself, is possible to be found in conjugal / romantic relations, but with time, rarity of such relations is on the rise.

JaeRajesh June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

You just have to be really in a life threatening situation to know otherwise :)*p*But I like your passion and commitment! Keep it up!!

JaeRajesh June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

As Archana mentioned above, ‘love’ is a sentiment that is exercised consciously. When your own life is under threat, the natural impulse is to save yourself. That is, when the condition is such that it allows no time for conscious thoughts or action.

JaeRajesh June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Totally agree with you Archana! I confess that it was a loaded question, since I find there’s a tendency to casually fling that statement :)*p*

Barnali Roy June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

I feel no one loves somebody more than his/her own self, though a parent -child relationship comes closest to this. In romantic or couple relationships, it is always self-love being projected and sought.

ArchanaSharma June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Mira & Rajesh agreement arises when we have a disagreement or disagreement stems from a point of agreement. It’s a well established researched fact how are responses and reactions in a particular situation will be. It’s a natural instinct to save yourself ask the soilder in conflict zones though national interest runs high but if there is a land mine blast or a firing the immediate thought which comes is Oh god let me be safe. It in no way means that he doesn’t love his country or is being selfish. This is a natural trait some survival instincts ingrained naturally into our system. We have to stop feeding our senses on over glorifying prevelant notions. The state of loving someone more than your own being is a state of bhakti or complete surrender which though exists but a rarity to find.

ArchanaSharma June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

It may sound selfish but one cannot love someone more than herself or himself. If there is a life threatening situation your immediate impulse is to safeguard yourself not to whoever is around. Our senses are conditioned to external stimuli to respond in a particular manner which are beyond our control. One’s biggest responsibility is towards oneself only.

Mira June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

I disagree. *p*I totally see it true i love him/her more than myself. *p*And if thr is a life threatening situation one may end up saving the other…. you dont know unless it really happens to you.*p*

abhijit gadre June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

NO! I have never. You can call me selfish for that. Reminds me of a famous quote by none other than Gautam Buddha, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” There is no debate here. There could be many reasons for which you may love another but as a whole one cannot but love him/her self. There cannot be little or more. Love is infinite and only self love can have the fullnes of the Infinite.

RakshaBharadia June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

But history is replete with instances where mothers have traded their lives for their child’s..

RakshaBharadia June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

I think a mother can…and if you mean lovers? Nope…I do not think so. Because life goes on…doesn’t it?*p*

AvantikaDebnath June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Yes, one may love the other more than oneself. But unless totally blinded by love, this feeling would last only as long as the next person stays worthy of this feeling. No rational feeling can withstand the humiliation of being ignored or abused.

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