Changes after break up

My boyfriend of five years broke up after I caught him cheating on me. I was left devastated and am still trying to pick up the pieces even though it has been over a year. I don't think I'll ever be able to trust someone enough to date them. I am now in my early thirties and i feel this bad breakup has changed me forever for the worse. I want to continue my life as he moved? on a while ago. But I don't know how to do it.

13 replies
Anonymous
June 7, 2017

13 comments

Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:21 am
Tina June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

If it is 5 years, it is time you got someone in your life. Have you dated even one person in this time? *p*

Arti Ohri June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

hi….Anonymous?? why?*p**p*First things first…ITS HAPPENED ! IT'S DONE!! HE'S GONE! (which is so good …caz u now have the power to JUST BE YOU!)*p**p*Begin first with not hiding..it never helps…talk talk n talk about your pain…let it out of your system..and in the process empower  those around you to be careful for the signs you ignored! *p**p*Yes trust is a big issue to handle….loss another …jealousy another one(others have what you don't or once had) Look you can hide or come out in the open and fix what ever caused this to happen …sometimes we take our relationships for granted..we think the person we are with will remain forever with us…its not so..we too love the dress on another person don't we? and seceretly desire to have it and find  a way to get it! look at the lost relation with an absolute detachment.. he's the dress you didn't get….only then and then alone can you get normalcy back into your life..you are a good soul you were true to your commitment..that's your strength…build on this strength further..let others in your immediate environment experience this part of you..build further on building a new you..work on your weaknesses..empower yourself further.find a cause that needs you and your commitment …no need to cry over people who were meant to be in your circle of life for a limited time…He has left he has taught you that you should trust not immediately..he has taught you to not take your blessings for granted…he has taught you that you need to work on YOU! *p**p*Thank him…don't cry! Don't regret! *p**p*People are envious of those who are single and have the freedom to do much more than them…Bask in that space for a while…become stronger..and when you feel you are ready to move into a relationship walk into it without fear with lessons learnt from the past.*p**p*LOVE WILL HAPPEN …TRUST WILL BE REGAINED! you are too young to think otherwise…JUST WORK ON YOU! *p*

Ankit June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

First things first – when a relationship ends, the most important thing is to get rid of all the baggages. If it brings bad memories, delete them, get rid of the things that remind you of the past. Memories of past will not let you move on in life.*p**p*And also tell yourself one sour grape doesn't mean all grapes are sour. One bad experience should not kill what you could explore in the future.*p**p*You should certainly take your lessons and don't let people use your vulnerablilities.*p**p* *p*

Ankit June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Accept what has happened has happened it cannot be changed and that it's not your fault.*p**p*If you keep remembering the past you will be clinged to those memories forever. Look forward to something interesting in your daily life.*p**p*Maybe adopt a pet – increase involvement in your career or personal growth. I can say that because I faced breakup in a long relationship but didn't let it affect me.*p*

Raisha June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

I don't think I believe in romantic love anymore! Just full of empty promises. But I hope I can move on someday*p*

Raisha June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Thank you for your kind words*p*

Raisha June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

I try to not remember but almost everything I do reminds me of our time together and the future he promised me.*p*

Raisha June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Thank you for your kind words. I hope so but I don't think i will be able to trust anyone ever again.*p*

SAHELI MITRA June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Nothing in this life is constant. Why just boyfriends, we have break ups with so many others, yet we have to move on, For that is what our Sanskrit sloka speaks on: Charaibeti… Life must go on. And one relationship cannot have the power or rather should not have the power to let you down. You as a human being is much bigger than the failures of a relationship. And not all men are same. I myself have faced this many times. If some are uttterly selfish and is out there to emotionally exploit you, there are still some who will stand by you in thick and thin. You never know, you might be lucky enough to meet such a human later in life. So keep a look out and do not stop.*p*

Bhagyashree Sowani June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

I can understand how sad you must be feeling right now. But right now its important to grieve for a dead relationship and try to let your feelings out of your system. While you are in your sad phase talk to your family and friends. It will help you come to terms with what happened. Dont bottle up your sorrow. *p**p*If you can, try to evaluate what exactly happened with the relationship. Were you too accommodating? Were you too demanding? *p**p*Try to evaluate what was right in the relationship for you. *p**p*In the end you are your own independent person. You have your own place and identity in the world. Nobody can pull you down. *p*

christina June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

I feel so bad that you can't get over a serial cheater. Believe me he will cheat on his new gf and then the next one. *p**p*You have Gods hand on you that you caught him before your relationship got any legality. *p**p*Join groups don't be alone and I am sure someone is there waiting for you to come in your life. Enjoy your work your friends and your family. And don't mull over it all the*p**p*time. There r such wonderful things in the world books music sunshine sunsets rains flowers the smell of rain. Enjoy yourself and hoping to see your post soon that you have found someone who will never break your trust*p*

Hridaan June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

It is always hard to get back after a break up. I would advise you to start loving yourself and stop thinking that falling in love with a "person" is absolutely vital for now. Just concentrate on yourself and start exploring the hidden desires in you. Do the things you love the most. Travel, meet new people,  make friends. Do not have to trust people. Just concentrate on your wants for the time being. The moment you feel confident about yourself is the time you will start loving and trusting again. All the best.*p*

Aman Singh June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

It's not impossible you know. People move over breakups. No matter how hard it hits them. And you need another partner who can help you to get over it. Don't worry and don't keep pondering over whatever has happened. You need a happy life for yourself just like your ex is having. *p*

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