Confused about sharing household chores?

Married couples who are not staying with their parents/in-laws often face the dilemma of sharing household chores between them. My spouse and I have found out that if we depend on the socially determined gender roles for sharing the household chores, then it not only puts additional stress but it also bitters the relationship. As a family promoting equality we share the chores more dynamically…both of us do everything, upon mutual understanding. For example on the day I cook, she does the dishes and vice versa. Having a 3 year old child also helps in the matter as we get equal amount of time to spend with the little one.

2 replies
June 7, 2017


  1. Managing house hold chores in initial years of marriage is tricky as is subject to lot of scrutiny by visiting in-laws. I too always felt more the things change, more they remain the same. Whatever feminism , gender being sanitised these remain as fancy terms in matters of household chores. I had to toil very hard initially handling everything single handed. But gradually had many helpers for various chores which made the functioning smooth and erase the creases on forehead. Now it’s a cakewalk, I like being firmly grounded in my domain and each corner of house appears an extension of my personality. There is absolutely no room for any conflict and we have accepted it willingly.

  2. If there is an afterlife and I am ever presented before the Omniscient judge, I shall be surely accused of one sin, of never helping my wife in her household chores. In my defence, I’d say that I offered, tried and sneaked into the kitchen to try a few things out. She, however, thought it as an encroachment intobher domain and found me incompetent in even the simplest act of peeling pea pods. After a few botched attempts which never helped in my goodwill as a participative spouse, I gave up my attempts about two decades back. *p*I envy those men who share the household chores and are treated as equals by their spouses. Reverse is true as well. The spirit of partnership is so important among the couple that, dealing with the finer points of male vs female argument, we can push this debate to the bottom of our marital mattresses at our own peril.

Yes No