Deciding priorities

What should be given more importance in a marriage: providing care to ailing, elderly parents or career goals? If you had to choose between a fantastic job offer abroad that would change your family fortunes and personally taking care of your parents,what would you do?

6 replies
Ashwina Garg
June 7, 2017


  1. A tough one! The moral one seens taking care of ailing parents but what if a good set of caretakers can be appointed and you fly down more than usual to check up on them? I am tired of our generation sacrifcing all the time. I know I may get slack on this yet, had to say what I believe in! *p*

  2. Yes. True. For me neither. But the older post also makes sense. Ironically, chronic illnesses cost a lot of money so the job becomes even more important.*p*

  3. Exactly my point. Some of us who belong to the "sandwich generation" get it from both sides. We are responsible for our parents and our own children who may or may not support us in old age like we did our parents.*p*

  4. It is a Hobson's choice. 150 times out of hundred I would choose taking care of my ailing parents. Career, money, power – all these are  goals  which give happiness that is transient. Reaching out to your wonderful parents who have given the best years of your life to you, in their sunset years, is the closest you can come to achieving self acutalisation.*p**p*Trust me. Years ago I had the option of moving to our company's corporate office in New Delhi. It meant greater prestige and power and  a sure shot promotion every three years. However,  I knew dad would never have liked moving to the Capital  and would rather have preferred staying in quiet, little town like Rourkela with its languid grace, unhurried pace  and a clean and green ambience. It took me seven seconds to decide and 6 words to communicate my No. *p**p*And to this day, almost twenty years later, I am so glad  I said that.*p**p*My response may sound anachronistic in  today's career obsessed, ambitious  universe where the only thing that matters is how far you get to the top – end being sublime and the means  be dammed.*p**p* *p**p* *p*

  5. It may seem a very tough decision to take, but the priority ought to be "family first"! What if one had to choose between an ailing child or spouse and a job opportunity abroad? It would be ideal if one could balance the two by, perhaps, taking the parents along if possible. If not, I would advocate sacrificing one's comfort to looking after the ailing parents. Jobs, money, comforts could be regained but the guilt of not being there for the parents when they needed you most will hit you hard. For me, putting the parents in an old age home or having someone look after them is not an option.*p*

  6. It's a catch 22 situation where one needs to walk the fine line. I've been in a situation where I took a tough call and now when I look back, I do wonder why I chose to do what I eventually did. Yea I chose to stay back in the country and take care of my elderly but not ailing parents then. I think I earned a few brownie points with them. Yes I staggered career wise but well there's got to be some stagnation somewhere – personally or professionally. I chose the latter over the former!*p**p* *p*

Yes No