Do we ignore ourselves often in relationships?

Do we often make the ‘mistake’ of placing our partner above ourselves when we are in love?

12 replies
Bonobology Subscriber
June 7, 2017


Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am
modernromeo June 8, 2017 - 8:54 am

Yes!!! And then we blame our partner for our miseries!

I am Krishna June 8, 2017 - 8:54 am

Yes…but the thing is that it backfires. For if I will constantly put my needs on the back-burner i will eventually blame my partner for my miseries. And that will not pan out well

Sucheta Chaturvedi June 8, 2017 - 8:54 am

For this very reason, the only way to love is to be less egocentric – to put the needs and well-being of others ahead of your own. When you’re willing to put the happiness of another ahead of your own, you are taking the part in the phenomenon we call love.

To truly sum it up as best as I can, when you’re ready to put a living thing’s happiness above your own, you’re ready to love. If you attempt to love anytime before you are ready to do so, you will fail miserably – breaking those you attempted to benefit.

Mira June 8, 2017 - 8:54 am

Love makes you do many things…. mistake or not.
Putting your partner above ourselves is just an expression of Love!

Dua June 8, 2017 - 8:54 am

I think one ends up calling it a mistake when one is taken for granted or is broken because in placing the other before self, one in some ways loses oneself. I personally never felt it was a mistake till I saw how it led to me being taken for granted , always. It may be different for different people. I am not sure.

Dua June 8, 2017 - 8:54 am

A lot of us do. I did. But to escape hurt and frankly to be more practical than emotional, treat others are equals. At every level. Atleast I think so!

Debjit Bhattacharyya June 8, 2017 - 8:54 am

My instinct tells me to keep her above all the time but my calculative nature often tells me to sometimes keep myself above too. It helps to restore the balance lost in a relationship in the course of time.

Ritapriya Nandy June 8, 2017 - 8:54 am

Yes we do. I think that can destroy us since selflessness comes at a price.

U June 8, 2017 - 8:54 am

Yes… am not so sure If it’s sad though… No matter how much we like getting pampered we would, almost always keep ourself second.

Rajat Poddar June 8, 2017 - 8:54 am

The question,as posed, presumes placing the partner above oneself, when in love, is a mistake. What it really asks is do people commit this mistake often or rarely. In the first stage of love – limerance – always! In the second stage of love – becoming a couple – often. In later stages, never. For love to survive and prosper the relationship has to be one of equals.

Navin J June 8, 2017 - 8:54 am

Oh we always make the same mistake – again and again. And I’m sure we men do it more so than the women -and make ourselves an emotional fool.

Aviva June 8, 2017 - 8:54 am

I agree with what you have to say. But isnt it sometimes just amazing to losing oneself for just that one right person ?

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