Doing More For The Partner

When a couple is in a long distance relationship, I feel, they (both the man and the woman) should do a tad extra to make the partner feel secure and happy (as compared to when they are together or have the chance of seeing each other more often). For example, if one partner does not like the other going out for drinks with certain friends, in a long distance relationship, he should ideally abstain from doing so ( and not lie about it). Had they been in closer proximity, maybe explanations and reassurances? could have worked. But there is something about distance that breeds insecurity and worry. What are your thoughts?

4 replies
Aditi Ray B
June 7, 2017


Ashok Chibbar
Ashok Chibbar July 31, 2017 - 11:31 am

All relationships are built on trust and love. These two elements must be strong enough to overcome any pangs of doubt threatening the relationship.
Insecurity stems from lack of trust in the partners ability to maintain sanity in a relationship. I would like to suggest that instead of imposing restrictions on a partner who is away, it would be prudent to build trust. It may not be always possible to refrain from meeting people in an out of town official visit where social interactions part of the itinerary.
Paranoia has ruined many a relationship……just avoid it!

Sherry D'Souza
Sherry D'Souza July 31, 2017 - 1:21 am

I don’t think it is fair to dictate terms in a long distance. When you don’t have your partner and are alone in a city, friends are very important. And it is healthy to have friends from both genders and not just your own gender if you are in a relationship. Some people use being in a long distance relationship as an excuse to cheat. But the same with alcohol etc, it is just an excuse. You won’t cheat if you don’t want to. Keeping unnecessary tabs on your partner won’t stop them. If the relationship is costing you peace of mind, best to end it.

Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am
ManjariPandey June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

You are absolutely right. When partners live in different cities for being on their jobs, it is really very important to plant and keep watering the feeling of togetherness. *p**p*Internet and phone are all helpful resources for such people. But the in person presence of your partner is hard to be replaced by anything. *p**p*Allow freedom to your partner despite knowing the truth is also important. See you are there to be with him/her if he/she wants to be in a club on Saturday night. If you would put restrictions, your partner may start telling lies. Hence, you better try to step into your partner's shoes before accusing or getting angry on him or her. *p**p*The golden rule is: keep trying to minimise the distance between you. A mere feeling that this distance is only for a few months or so is really a hope that keeps you together. *p*

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