Ending my marriage with grace instead of bitterness & pain seemed impossible but divorces can be sacred if we choose to make them so- your views?

Why is it so hard to take the higher road when it comes to our spouses? Why is it so tough to let go and forgive someone who was meant to be a part of your life till the end? Questions that find no answers or answers that just come by when we don’t ask any questions…

8 replies
August 30, 2017


  1. Ibada, hate is so easy and forgiveness is hard. Hate also drains and saps you of all positive energy so it’s sane and best to choose forgiveness and let go.

  2. Dr Sanjeev, I would disagree that the usually the loser behaves gracefully…once you choose grace, there is not even a question of being a loser or a winner. You rise above it and that’s what grace is all about 🙂

  3. A marriage is the most involved of any relationship one will have. It is also the one we plan our entire life and future around. Not to say the fact that you will have children together, pets, and share property. If only a part of us remembers that this was the person we loved, somewhere in all that hurt that turns to hate.

  4. Unless there are extremes, a divorce is always to be avoided but once you decide that to happen, doing it gracefully is a better option. Usually the loser in the bargain, behaves gracefully.

  5. It is very difficult to end a relationship – there are bonds, memories, family pressures, love and hate relationships and much more. But there is inner peace which is a personal priority for your own happiness and this can help you to decide to move out of a relationship when it starts to kill you emotionally.

  6. True . Taking the higher road was my choice irrespective of how my partner behaved. Nothing is ever easy, least of all relationships.
    And yes, looking inside is the key:)

  7. It should not be but then if everything went the way we wished them to then there was no need for divorce even. Humans are not programmable computers where we can predict the output, when the things come to the point of divorce a lot of emotions are involved. It’s the news of the Titanic sinking for the engineers who build it, they never expected Their Ship to ever sink because they think that they had put in the best they could, yet an iceberg was all that it took to sink.

    Marriages are also somewhat like that, nobody expects but then they do, sometimes they don’t but the water gets inside to the point that you just keep floating for the sake of the journey with a lot of discomfort.

    We can try to control how we react to a situation but we cannot control how our partner might react and when things do wrong it’s very difficult to think of sanity and forgiveness at that time, though there are people who have done it with Grace and continue to live as friends.

    Also maybe we don’t really look inside us and think all that went wrong was because of the partner only , at such a time our natural reaction towards the situation doesn’t allows the scope for peaceful settlements.