Exclusivity in an extra-marital affair

I recently came across a friend who is faced with a strange problem. He is married, but in love with another married woman. He wants to be exclusively in love with this other woman, but she is in love with another man at the same time. Her logic is, if you can accept your wife and me, why can’t I accommodate my husband, and my two current lovers? What do you think about this? I plan to write his story soon.

7 replies
ArijitGhosh
June 7, 2017

7 Comments

  1. I think ordinary people cannot value or appreciate romantic love unless it is exclusive to them. There is a strong element of possessiveness in this kind of relationship. Marriage is the socially approved relationship of this kind, which sanctions such exclusiveness. What your friend seeks, in other words is a second marriage, not in reality but in effect. On the other hand, the lady seems to be comfortable and sees no wrong in accepting and sharing her affections with yet another. From my point view, if your friend is unable to come to terms with this, it’s going to be problematic for both of them.

  2. She does have a point. Once you abandon monogamy, who can put a number or a limit. Your friend needs to decide if he can accept things as she can

  3. While we are still coming in terms of affairs and infidelity, this case is off the discussion bit for me as it is very complicated. However a genuine question and curiosity from my side (which I am not sure if your story will cover) how will she have so much time?

  4. Hi Arijit. His girlfriend had a very valid point. Like they say, you can’t be somewhat pregnant! Waiting for your story.

  5. He needs to ask himself if he is okay with being in an open relationship. What is more important here though is the one person being cheated on- his wife. Please ask him to come clean with her. Why shouldn’t she have her affairs too, since nothing seems to stop him!

  6. Ummm..the man lost all rights to the word “exclusivity,” the moment he decided to cheat on his wife!

  7. This dude is in a major mess. This is most likely a Karmic slap for him. While he is hiding and cheating on his wife, his current lover is quite openly cheating on him. What a double triangle of affairs! I am amazed at how much an individual can cope with, combined with the regular stress of work and life!

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