Expectation v reality

As a gay man I find that there are hardly any portrayals in our art and pop culture of grounded gay relationships. There is a gap between expectations and reality for others like me looking to start dating. Is there any way this can be remedied? I find many young boys looking for role models and something to show what they can expect in the gay dating world.

12 replies
June 7, 2017


Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am
Arjun Awasthi June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Well there is still considerable stigma in our society. People are not accepting, feel that homosexuality is unnatural, and are afraid that any mainstream portrayal of gay relationships is heresy. I think it is upon visible figures in the media and society to take a stand and stand up for who they are and what they believe. Perhaps one day things will change. Unfortunately, the Supreme Court defered the decision of wether homosecuality is criminal to the parliament. The parliament must decide on a vote to decriminalize homosexuality. If that can be done there is a room for much improvement in public perception, visiblity, and acceptance. *p*

AritrikDuttaChowdhury June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Ita not crime to be out of the stereotypical box.just think put of the box when u search for solution to such cases. Conventional dating doesn't always culminate in satisfaction.*p*

Waseem Imam Saheb June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Politics, finance and fashion plays a heavy role when it comes to the visibility of minorities regardless of the country… when i say fashion i mean what is in trend at the moment… activists and celebrities and brands need to be vocal about their support fot the lgbt people… they themselves have sway with the field of media as they represent markets and markets mean money… and ll of it is governed by politics in the end… which is why many brands dont attach them selves to political movements… such as the lgbt cause… but ultimately. These brands need to find the courage not to fall within the political trends and rather stand as entities on their own to bring about change… take the recent vicks transgender ad and while many have criticized it… the statement made by the company is a foot forward in the right direction. *p**p*We need more brands to take a stand to show their is a movement and financial support for the visibility of lgbt people *p**p* *p*

Ekta Banerjee June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

What an interesting story! I am guessing you two went your own ways. The temptation to appear amazing online is tough to resist buut I think it is best to be oneself so the other person is at least not expecting something else. Having an open mind is true. Win some, lose some, same as with anything else in life.*p*

Ekta Banerjee June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Matrimonial sites are risky. Plenty of news reports of people getting duped.*p*

Ekta Banerjee June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

that's true. Though it may not be possible where you can only see your chats with them.*p**p* *p*

Amit Shankar Saha June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Sometimes following online conversation of the person with others help to him/ her better than direct interaction.

Ankit June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

I've been on dating apps and had this experience. The images there are exceptionally edited and with a lot of filters applied. I matched with this girl and she looked great and everything. (Of course on such apps we match with people who we think look good or are fun to be around) *p*After a week we decided to meet and I kid you not I passed by her and couldn't recognise it was the same girl. *p*It was a turn down at the very first moment (since she deceived me) I talked politely had coffee but unmatched her soon after.*p*

UpasanaArora June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

I have an interesting story too tell!*p**p*I was for a while on an online dating site. My friends, forcefully downloaded it for me and insisted that the profile they had approved of would be a good match. To my surprise, the boy looked like a million bucks! Sharp features, a short stubble, good clothes, photographed in exquisite locations, etc. I thought may be online dating isn't a bad idea after all!*p**p*However, he didn't belong to my city. We corresponded over the dating site for a few weeks, went on to adding each other on Facebook, and finally graduated to WhatsApps and finally, phone calls. It all seemed great! He sounded fun, smart, witty, and I could feel the excitement that I hadn't in a while.*p**p*Six months later, he decided to come to town. Gave me a month's notice to prepare myself for our first visit. I was excited, apprehensive, unsure… I guess the very obvious feelings anyone experiences on their first date.*p**p*So, the moment arrived when I stood face to face with the one I had imagined to be a Greek God. But! Oh my God, I couldn't believe what I saw! Pictures could be so deceptive, is what I understood that same day. Not looking down upon anyone, or meaning to be disrespectful, but there was too much of a diiference between what I saw online, and experienced when I met him in person. Not only that, he sounded and seemed so much more fun over the phone, than he was when we met. We had nothing to talk about, except to ask each other to start a conversation of some sort. In short, thoroughly disappointing!*p**p*I don't really think there are any signs as such on not being mislead. It is very difficult to know how or what someone really is unless you meet them and spend time with them in person. Hence, I would say, have an open mind! You will end up being disappointed at times, but then you never know, it might click somewhere too! *p*

UpasanaArora June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Yes Ekta, we did. I am happily single, still, and he has found someone to spend the rest of his life with! We are friendly though, and connect off and on.*p**p*Very happy in our respective spaces! :-)*p*

Deepa June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Well, for one there are so many times, rather all the time that of the 5 or 6 odd pictures posted, not one matches the other. How can all pictures look so different?And definitely, the person is not the same in real as one that is mentioned. Here i am referring to matrimonial sites that have also become sort of online dating venues with chat options and stuff….these are more often misleading….*p*

Raul Sodat Najwa June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

I met a girl online like almost five years back, when I met in real then I came to know she was looking for a guy for her mom. Her mom had divorced her husband like a year back. *p*

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