Extra marital sex

Is sex outside an unfulfilled marriage, and that too once, a crime? This is not about repeated transgression, if at all, but an experience in womanhood and fulfilment.

13 replies
Utkarsh Patel
June 7, 2017

13 comments

Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am
Ankit June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Tina, I would say it is not immoral if done with the consent of the other partner in the relationship otherwise shatters the most important pillar in any relationship – trust. Every individual expects their partner to be loyal as that is directly related to the love and bond a couple shares.*p**p* *p**p*If with "A crime is when there is no consent!" you meant consensual polyamory I second your opinion.*p*

Ankit June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Being unfaithful is not a 'crime' as such but a moral crime so while talking about morality a single incident is enough to leak all the trust out. A murderer is a murderer if they have killed one or ten.*p**p*Desires can be fulfilled without extra-marital sex and if there is this feeling of unfulfillment should be searching for a long-term solution a one-time hookup will only spark the desires further. *p*

DarshanaDoshi June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

lol….*p**p*we all find ways to justify our actions ..dont we ?  And that is where grey shades start appearing in relationships making it complicated..*p**p*however since Shakespear wrote about those shades and we see them rampant nowadays ,  they are here to stay..*p**p*in such situations only you can be the best judge weighing millions pros and cons ..*p**p*so find the answer at a deeper level of your conscienceness  and live with it peacefully..*p**p* *p**p* *p*

DEVRAJ KALSI June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

We always need something extra – extra fun, extra benefits. Unfulfilled marriage is the most convincing ground to graze elsewhere.Repeated transgression is not okay but occasional straying for fulfilment/womanhood is fine according to you. Sounds like one crime is okay but do not be a compulsive offender.  Grow up, man, staunch feminists will not support your contention. *p*

Andy June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Crime depends on where the person is, but is it ethical or not is a different issue. Every person should be free to live their life irrespective of their marital status. Marital status might change with time, spouse might also change with time, life is meant to be lived and it doesn't comes with an instruction manual. Every person is unique and so is their life journey. What works for one might not work for other so do what brings happiness and peace of mind. What matters today might not matter 20 years down the lane. *p*

Utkarsh Patel June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Interesting perspectives to my question! However, I have not quite brought in the element of time and milieu.*p**p*What if this question is being raised in a story from mythology? What if the wife is a young girl and the husband is an old man? What if the lover is a handsome and irresisteble god? What if the wife has never quite felt wanted and loved in the marriage? Would that one time change?*p*

Utkarsh Patel June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

It sure is complicated and thats why the debate!*p**p*While one is not trying to justify an affair for the heck of it, one is only trying to bring out the compulsions and the circumstances of the same. A failed marriage, and where there is no way out (given such circumstances), the affair could just be unavoidable, or a kind of a momentary weakness to submit, etc. *p**p*Do read my latest story on Ahalya and Indra to understand my pov on this.*p*

Utkarsh Patel June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

It sure is complicated and thats why the debate!*p**p*While one is not trying to justify an affair for the heck of it, one is only trying to bring out the compulsions and the circumstances of the same. A failed marriage, and where there is no way out (given such circumstances), the affair could just be unavoidable, or a kind of a momentary weakness to submit, etc. *p**p*Do read my latest story on Ahalya and Indra to understand my pov on this.*p*

Utkarsh Patel June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

The word 'crime' was used more from the current understanding of the word and not intended to mean what it is. *p**p*Do read my latest story here on Ahalya and Indra. As mentioned, the milieu though different, the issue more or less remains the same. *p*

Urmimala Das June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Very tough question to answer ! It depends on the situation only whether we can say it a mistake or not. ( It's better to replace the word Crime with 'Mistake.')*p*

Aman Singh June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

You can't have a generalized answer for this. You just can't.*p**p**p*There can be many situations. *p**p*Situation 1: A failed marriage*p**p*During the failure of a marriage where the husband and wife rarely share the bed with each other, a woman can obviously desire for her bodily needs to be fulfilled. And, which will be looked down upon by the society but if we ponder over it with a rational mind, I see it as something which is really essential. And, she can get out of the marriage after it because she was anyway not happy in it. Same in case of the husband.*p**p*Situation 2: Not being in the sane state*p**p*If you're under an effect of drug and alcohol and you end up sleeping with someone unintentionally, I feel that the other person should be given one chance. But only if he/she comes out clean and is guilty about it.*p**p*Situation 3: Wealth and position*p**p*When a woman is attracted towards someone's wealth and position and leaves her husband for that. That's a sin. You just can't have sex outside your marriage because he is wealthier compared to your husband who actually loves you. *p**p*Situation 4: With a close friend or an ex*p**p*It's a huge mistake on a woman's part if her husband trusted the relationship she shared with her friend and never accused them of anything. It's just taking advantage of the other person's trust. *p**p*Et al. *p**p* *p**p*There can be many other situations because the extramarital affair is a really complicated thing.*p*

DrSanjeevTrivedi June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Does relishing good food for a jail inmate who is served lousy meals everyday, a crime ? Or for that matter for a hospitalised patient, to go out for a stroll for good breeze is wrong ? Is permission from the jail authorities or the doctors really essential for this ? The jailor or the matron will say no to it. Please use common sense, instead.*p**p*When already in jail or a hospital, one cannot be threatened to be further down graded. A happy couple never strays.*p**p* *p*

Tina June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

We are taught to see sex outside marriage as immoral. But if it is between two consenting adults, how can it be bad? 100 years back society said abortion is a crime. Now we think that it is a bigger crime to get an unwated child into this world. 2o years back pre-marital sex was frowned upon, now society has begun accepting it.  tSociety keep changing its mind. A crime is when there is no consent! Everything else can be beautiful! *p*

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