Finding the time

My work shift has recently changed and now I work at night. My husband works during the day. We barely get to see each other and I feel there is a distance growing between us. How do we tackle this situation, otherwise this may really harm our relationship. On top of this, my husband’s work also involves quite a lot of travelling so many weekends he is gone as well.

5 replies
Priyam Subba
August 28, 2017


  1. 1. Try changing jobs to correct the predicament. No job/work/business is worth sacrificing your happiness, for long.

    2. Do not let the communication collapse. Keep the fire intact.

    3. Wonders happen only when you want them to touch your life.

    4. Instead of watching distancing happening, helplessly, be proactive and take corrective steps.

  2. Thank you Meenu, Rakhi and Deepti for your kind replies. There are some amazing suggestions I will definitely use and hopefully my husband and I can find a way to make our situation work.

  3. Hi Priyam,
    Every marriage goes through its ups and downs. In your case, it is obvious that you are both missing being together. However, having been an Army wife, having been separated from my husband for a year or months, let me assure you that there are ways of bonding even if you don’t spend actual time together. Make use of your weekends to make up for the rest of the week, and communicate, go out together, and savour being together. Send messages to each other to keep your love alive. Plan little surprises like a trip to a spa, a meal out and candle-lit dinners when you are together. Above all, remain as close as you were by doing little things for each other. All the best in bringing the zing back in your relationship.

  4. Hi Priyam,
    After twenty three years of marital cohabitation, my husband and I are living in two different cities. He got a new job and kids were not in a stage to move. None of us can help it. Do not blame your work for the decreased time. Army wives live separated for long periods and nothing goes wrong. This is a passing phase.
    Harmony in time marred marriage, is all about acceptance and making best of your time together. Marriage is a long journey and such bumpy roads strengthen the bond. Sometimes distance makes hearts grow fonder, it is working for us. I look forward to talk to him on various issues and he appreciates the special things I plan according to his choice. I hope and wish you both deal with the situation in a matured manner.

  5. Hi Priyam,
    The first thing you need to do is to talk about this to your husband. Communication is the key in any relationship.
    You must look at utilizing the weekends to the maximum to spend time together- cook together, spend time in bed, go out for meals or just talk .
    If he’s not around physically then message him throughout the day or write to him about how you are feeling – be honest, and truthful about your feelings.
    Don’t hide anything for fear of offending him and start looking seriously for a day job if you can so you can spend time together. Or he can look for a change of role in his present organisation that allows him to spend more time with you.
    I feel you both will have to take drastic steps to spend time together but begin by communicating – that’s the cardinal step to resolve this issue eventually.
    Don’t allow the emotional distance to creep in – keep in touch via messages, or cook something special, or buy him gifts. Do small acts daily to show him that you care and miss him. Remain positive . Pray and ask the universe to show you the path to get closer to him.
    Most of all, keep your faith and reach out to him daily so you feel connected to him.

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