He is a widower..she a divorcee..they like each other ..but he’s hesitant to commit to a relationship..he says he is shy..what should she do?

They are good friends..have met each other though!!!!they like each other…she wants to be with him…but he won't initiate anything..he has a girl child whom he dotes on …what should she do?

8 replies
Arti Ohri
June 7, 2017

8 Comments

  1. I agree with you Shifa! Also perhaps he is concerned about how the girlchild would take her? I think she should def push this a little….*p*

  2. I think she should take the initiative and ask him to commit. Life is too short to be shy! Since they have both been through relationships that have not worked out in the past they should give it their best and make this one work. If he does like her and is commitment phobic, i think he is normal..she will just have to be assertive and get him to realise what he is missing out on.*p**p*If on the other hand he is using his shyness as a ploy to not commit she should find out and then walk away…*p*

  3. I believe they should spend more time together and she should make him believe in himself as well as show him a picture of a future where they are together. Stuck in societal pressures, he is not quick to decide, but with the faith, she puts in on him, he will be confident to pursue this relationship further, without hurting any of the expectations he believes people have from him.*p*

  4. She can initiate the talk.discuss with open minds and hearts.*p**p*May be he is hesitant as he needs assurance re his child.*p**p*Well wishes to them!*p*

  5. Life is too short for 'what ifs', specially in matters of the heart.*p*If she is sure about her feelings for him then she must let him know.*p*Also she has to be clear on her feelings for his daughter as that will be an important and deciding factor for him… and maybe this is the concern on his mind due to which he is not taking initiative.*p* *p*

  6. Ankur,Vaishali,*p**p*very correctly said…but he leads her and backs off..so she's confused…n has decided to back off herself…stale mate situation..really sad as both are ideal for each other..but i guess nature has its own role to play.*p*

  7. She should take it easy.He will come through by and by, it's just that he may require some more time to mourn his wife and find courage to move on. He has to understand on his own that we can never forget our first spouse, good memories always remain but it is also fine to find a companion to spend the rest of the life with. *p*

  8. Ask her to take it slow. Maybe the memory of his wife still lingers. She can be a friend first and see where things go from there. It's a tricky situation and needs patience because if the guy feels any pressure, he will back off completely. *p*

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