He makes a face whenever I try to pay for things? Why make a fuss?

Although I am up for chivalry and love being pampered, I don't like it when he makes a face whenever we are together and I pay for something instead of him. We both are earning well. Why make a fuss about it at all?

17 replies
Urvi Dhanak
June 7, 2017


  1. You are doing the right thing. But he may take it as an insult. Men are raised to be providers, as stereotyped as it sounds. Maybe pay for things that can be done online, like movie tickets etc. Or if he's paying, you can buy him something to show your appreciation. Let him know that you believe he is a good provider and are just coming from a place of love. *p*

  2. Tell him what you have noticed without confronting him. Maybe you'll understand where he is coming from. Perhaps he takes it an another way. If he wants to be the gentleman when you two are out, you can definitely spend on things at home to balance the scale. *p*

  3. Don't blame the self. It's the conditioned inferiority complex among men. Spend some time together and communicate it. But BE FIRM. *p*

  4. Perhaps you guys sit down and have a talk about it.*p*One of you paying for all day to day expenses and one of you saving and paying for, say, EMIs, bills – that may not be a bad idea.*p**p*Please let him know how you feel about it though. Ignoring anything NEVER works. You may want to reach a practical middle ground.

  5. Some men feel it is a blow to their ego if their woman pays the bill. They treat it as an affront to their masculinity, to their provider status. But I am sure you will be able to communicate your objections to him and bring him to your point of view. There is no problem open communication and mutual respect cannot solve.*p*

  6. He should not be fussy at all. When you two are together, it should not matter as to who is goin to pay the bill. According to him, a man paying the bill is the normal course of nature and he feels that you are violating that natural order. So, he is just following the order and not accepting the fact that it is absolutely okay for the girl to pay. Don't worry, hang in there. I am sure you will be able to bail him out of that mindset. *p*

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