How do you decide if you should let your future spouse know about your previous affairs?

If the person is mature and trustworthy enough to handle it then nothing like it. But what if he or she uses it to abuse you and lash at you in future? Any thoughts?

7 replies
Nidhi Sodha
July 13, 2017


  1. Your past has not to be Refrigerated, it has to be buried. You take it as a learning enabler. We all have learnt multiple lessons from our past. Those partners did not suit us and vice versa. We are not there to justify but to retain the good out of it all and move on. Please don't serve it as a fresh dish to someone. *p**p*No you do not have to share your past with your present partner. Nothing out of it will add value to your experiencing each others presence presently. Be fair to the new person. Be fair to yourself. It's a new journey, new discovery don't already put barriers and roadblocks. Don't bring the ghost of a third person into what you are starting afresh.*p**p*Life gives beautiful chances. Avail them and good luck to you. *p**p*Today's times demand that we be cautious about what we share and what effect it's going to have on our partner.*p*

  2. That could be the most ideal thing. But what if the person does not react much at that instant but uses it later on to abuse or pinpoint at the partner?*p*

  3. I am of the view that past affairs require no disclosure when you are exploring a fresh one. This sharing of information is not going to cement the bond but this disclosure will certainly pose a hurdle in cementing a new strong bond. Let the past remain buried but if you discuss it, there is an impression that you still miss it and something of that lingers in your mind. Let it be pure imagination. Your past relationships did not work out and that is perhaps your flaw or in some cases, not your flaw at all. But you will be assessed and judged harshly, and therefore it is better to avoid this beaten track. Your partner also perhaps has a complex past to reveal or hide but you should not be curious to know what went wrong. You are merely seeding ideas and that is useless for the future. Begin from a fresh point with honesty, without harping on the past. Your new partner is not a counsellor who will help you reunite with your past. *p*

  4. There is nothing to decide, just let them know. Its important that they know beforehand. If they are open minded, you will know, if he/she is the person to marry, otherwise you would know too. *p**p*Better to be open about these things to avoid future confusion and misery, isnt it. *p*

  5. Self disclosure is important for the sucess of any relationship but at the same time no one likes to hear excruciating details about their spouse's previous partner's. so as long as the information is brief and matter of fact i dont see it being a problem!*p*

  6. I think it is a very critical situation because if you donot disclose about your past to your partner ,  there will always be aconstant fear within that the truth may come out or he might get to know from somewhere else which will be much more destructive. Hence , i feel one needs to make a mature decision about the importance and consequences of something they are hiding. It is better to tell in my opinion.*p*

Yes No