How do you pick curtains as a couple?

I might be generalizing, but it’s often assumed that design decisions at home will be taken by the lady. However, what happens when your spouse has an opinion too? My wife and I had our first argument at an upholstery shop while choosing curtains. She had a sense of aesthetics that clashed with mine – I argued that I have a degree in design studies. Wrong move! While we got past the curtains, it took us 4 years to decide on personalized stationery – thank you cards. We have come to an understanding now, but I’d love to know how you and your spouse deal with such situations. Is there a gender role at play or a compromise of a sort?

9 replies
Tarun Durga
September 11, 2017


  1. No gender role doesn’t play in our family at all. But in sticky moments where we end up with different opinions, be it shopping for curtains or choosing the wall paint, we simply drop that option, if we don’t come to a meeting point at all. We move to other options. It’s not like we don’ fight, we do, play the blame game, but it’s a joint decision, especially when it concerns home decor. 🙂

  2. Interesting perspectives from all of you. This is what we did 4 years ago – we got one of each and it was a great decision because as it happened, my wife’s choice contrasted very well with mine – she wanted a green patterned curtain and I wanted a maroon minimalistic one. We put them together and… Viola! Since then we’ve worked out a more sustainable system. We have a quick chat, look at inspiration together online and discuss our recommendations. Then she researches some more and shares a shortlist with me, which incorporates both our ideas and we make the final decision together. It’s not bloodless, but there are no scars either. This has successfully worked with personalised stationery, cards, kids bedroom curtains and wall art. I’ve also eased out on some of the decision making – becoming more selective about expressing design opinions, and we trust each other to agree. I guess people grow into each other and that’s what relationships are about.

  3. My husband has left these matters to me. He knows & understands my taste. I personally think it’s more about accepting who has a better taste & can do justice to bringing out your personalities as a couple & not as individuals.

  4. hahaha. we have been married for an eternity, but i learnt within the first few months that my choice in aesthetic things is, to put it in a word – zilsch! My wife somehow always knew colours, placements, designs etcbetter.So, no, we dont have arguments on this subject, since i view it as something that gets done automatically for me.

  5. Hahaha.. how cute! However it ain’t something we must take lightly, after all the wrong choices stick on to our walls and windows for quite a long time..
    You said what!!! I have a degree… ?? Nope, no degree is greater than a woman s world view of her home.. no one messes with that.
    I quote thus, this, “you never have an opinion about the colors of your walls or sheets, unless you are gay or want to sleep outside home forever”.. (no offense to any one)
    My husband always interferes with choice of things at home, kitchen is out of bounds for him. His choice of sofas, both were bad, as it is a very fast quick decision, whereas I like to take time, which proves better.
    It’s a balance sometimes or most times I pick the best, but stones which is rarely has he added to the aesthetics of the house.. except boring brown sofas.. I always wanted green or red coloured ones.. so.. now he’s learnt his lessons..
    But having said that, maybe u need to talk this out.. since you have studied the subject you are itching to design your space.. pick your space and make it completely your s..leave the rest to her.. good luck with this.. ☺️☺️

  6. Well, it ain’t easy. Sometimes, it feels like the toughest battle. Still, we reach a consensus based on the ambience and decor of the room.

  7. Hi,
    Now that’s a tricky area, which you need to skirt carefully! 🙂 A home is a shared space, often built up with love and happiness. So, if you want the harmony to continue, it is better to sit together and discuss exactly what it is you want. As far as curtains go, do go shopping together, pick out the ones you both like, and think about how they will look in your home. Often, there will be one striking choice which stands out. If not, compromise is the best way forward. You choose to do up one area at home and let your spouse do a different area. It is better to do this in two different rooms to avoid a mish-mash of tastes. The bottom line is that, if you both continue to lock horns, it might just be curtains for your relationship! Pun intended!

  8. Hahahaha! Nailed it. And speaking why you are good in such and such because of your proff degree does not really work in the couple relationship! For us we pick areas of what matters more to whom. In the case you have mentioned here, I would only interfere if what he picks in intolerable, otherwise I let him call the shots because he cares about those things more than I do. But then there are other zones, for instance which friend to pick for a Saturday..I am the one who does it and he is happy if he gets his scotch!

  9. Its a compromise obviously. We generally agree on most parts but when we dont, we go for a third option. Neither his nor mine.

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