How does a woman tolerate negativity about her city when people around her including her in laws speak only negative?

I was born & brought up in Delhi, but married to a guy based in Mumbai. My husband's relatives,  family constantly criticise Delhi in my presence.  They make me feel inferior by comparing me to other women from Mumbai despite my good educational qualification. My only drawback is I'm traditional in thoughts & while dressing up. How do I  convince them that there are good women like me from Delhi as well.

7 replies
Yashodhra
June 7, 2017

7 Comments

  1. I really value your traditional approach. In the West they are trying to imitate our culture whereas we are deconstructing it. You must stick to your values. Some day or the other they would know you are right.

  2. Ankeeta, the world loves to bully the meek. So get up and stand for what you believe in. If you like being traditional, just be. Let me shout themselves hoarse. You just be yourself and prove what stuff Delhi girls are made of.*p*

  3. It's sad how if you go up the generation hierarchy, the prejudice and insensibility keeps increasing. And, that's something which our generation can't change but just deal with it. We just have to bear it and not let that affect our mentality and confidence. Discrimination will exist and we have to get above all this. *p*

  4. The thing is most of the times,  before I can reply they snub me. I am always asked about the count of my boyfriends before marriage in a sarcastic way when I didn't have any. *p**p*I don't smoke, drink nor I am a party woman.  I am a homely woman who believes in giving her family the first priority. *p*

  5. Your idea about human actions are flawed. You are traditional and it is not your drawback. It is your preference and no one can judge it. I do not know what you mean when you say "there are good women like me from Delhi". That is another judgemental flaw which should be avoided. But coming back to the content of this question, I think what you lack is confidence and therefore they take the advantage of it. Instead of getting caught up in their judgements, "DO NOT CHANGE THE WAY YOU ARE". Be yourself and if you continue being the way you are, they will stop talking one day. Try to engage with them in a friendly way and take an occasional jibe at their city as well by comparing it with the things in your city. But what is of primary importance to you is to be confident and not comparing your way of living as a drawback.*p**p* *p*

  6. A bit strange that people paint persons from a particular city with the same occluded brush! While I am a votary of "A place is not bad or good, it's the people who make a place good or bad", it would be wrong to condemn everyone as bad or good. Delhi, like Mumbai, Kolkatta, Chennai and many other cosmopoliton cities has its unique set of people. The Delhites are vibrant, fun-loving and, at most times, boisterous. The women are beautiful both in physical appearance and intellect and, perhaps relatively speaking, more conservative. Mumbai, is a fast paced citywith each one busy in one's own world. The women here too are beautiful somewhat more fun-loving than their Delhi counterparts, and influenced by the proximity of Bollywood.*p**p*Having been to many countries and interacted with people out there, I feel Indian women are at much higher level both in beauty and intellect. The city does not matter – The person does! So, dont worry what your in-laws say (maybe they have not been out of Mumbai) and be happy in the knowledge that you are you and no one can change that!*p*

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