How fair is it when women have to ‘take permission’ from their in-laws to visit their parents? Surabhi Pandey June 7, 2017 Surabhi Pandey June 7, 2017 How fair is it when women have to 'take permission' from their in-laws to visit their parents? 28 repliesSurabhi PandeyJune 7, 2017 28 comments Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am Smriti June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am Dealing with in laws is tricky business. The relationship is built on respect. While they may be much older and experienced in life, you too are an adult capable of taking your own decisions. Specially something as simple is meeting your parents. It's important for you to draw the line early on in your relationship with in laws on what say they have in your life. There seems to be no reason why you need to take permission to meet your family, even friends or go about your day to day life. Keep them informed when need be, but that's about it in my opinion.*p* Priya Jindal June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am If you're living with your in laws maybe just let them know when stepping out of the house. You are an adult so don't need permission but depending on your relationship with them, you can disclose as much as you want about your whereabouts. *p* Rishav Ray June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am Not fair at all. They can inform them for the sake of their knowledge but not more than that. They do not need to ask for anyone's permission before going to their own place. Although it happens in many Indian households still in the 21st Century, I think its high time that it changes.*p* Sandip Pandey June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am Not fair at all.. I think it is time for us to evolve our mindsets.. Visiting parents is a human right. Why restrict anyone from that?*p* Siddhi Pandey June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am Very unfair. *p* Ashok Chhibbar June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am The institution of marriage is built on a foundation of trust and mutual respect.Societal norms in India are still archaic and though women have shattered the glass ceiling in many areas, marital relationships remain a weak area. While I would not advocate "permission" to be sought by a woman from her in-laws, it would be prudent for her to discuss with her husband and then inform the in-laws.*p* Jeeta June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am It is the most unfair thing but unfortunately this is the fact in our soceity. Young women in majority of families have to take permission from their in-laws for visiting their parents, to go out for a movie or shopping, to visit doctors, to spend money. The sad part is I see these women have accepted this regressive practice as a fact of life and don't mind so much. Few do mind but they don't want to be the troublemaker so keep quiet. The husband is to be blamed mostly I feel for keeping quiet and be the enabler.*p* Sukanya June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am I agree with Surabhi here. I know lots of MILs who dress up like the DIL, drink and socialise. But this is just for the outer world. At home it is the same old story. But of course it is not at all important to take permission. Do they want you to take permission for going to parents house? Then they will probably expect you to take permission to go anywhere else too. It is your life. Keep a good relation and inform them. No permission please*p* Surabhi Pandey June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am My emotions exact!*p* Surabhi Pandey June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am Finally, a balanced advice! Thanks a lot*p* Surabhi Pandey June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am "Taking permission doesn't make one small, but it is not a must by any chance."*p**p* *p**p*It is not about being small or big. It is about a girl's right/want to see his equally lovable/respectable folks!*p**p* *p**p*" This topic is of very little relevance in today's times"- Beg to differ. It is quite relevant.*p* Surabhi Pandey June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am Exactly my point! As far as I let them know like I always do about my pother plans, they must be okay with it.*p* Surabhi Pandey June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am Interesting take..*p* Surabhi Pandey June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am Affirmative.*p* Surabhi Pandey June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am Touche*p* Surabhi Pandey June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am You feel me and I feel you. My emotions exact!*p* Surabhi Pandey June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am True..*p* Surabhi Pandey June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am I think today, both men and women are capable of making money and both share equal responsibilities. The why not share the leverages too?*p* Surabhi Pandey June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am I think responsibilities towards both set of parents are equal. Both partners should understand this and respect this fact. I agree when you say that "ideal scenario would be to acknowledge and respect each others' needs and opinions.*p* Surabhi Pandey June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am Couldn't agree more. I think men and women both are equally responsible for this unfortunate situatin. tWomen need to take a stand for themeselves and men need to be men enough in situations like this!*p* Arti Ohri June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am That's the state that we need to work on….like a prenup should be discussed before hand …but how many of us actually give this a thought when in love or getting married…?*p**p*if its happening to you now just ensure you break the circle at YOU! *p* Barnali Roy June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am It's quite unfair actually. As a matter of etiquette you should inform other members if your are in the same family. If you stay apart, then it is no business of anyone to give "permission" to you for going anywhere. Haven't ever heard of men taking permission from their spouses or in-laws to visit any place!*p* DrSanjeevTrivedi June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am She should need to only 'inform' the in-laws and not seek 'permission' provided her parents are not the cause of dischord in the newly wedded couple's life. Many mothers are so 'active' in the life of their married daughters that it comes in way of her getting 'detached' from her old home and settling well in new life.*p* modernromeo June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am Basically…discuss right? Where no one person holds the authority to say yes or no! *p* modernromeo June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am However much we may say fair or unfair the fact of the matter is the person who controls the purse strings controls the action! Sad but true! *p* Mira June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am Not fair.*p**p*In fact, I have personally objected to this by saying, "why make it like for every little thing we need to get School Principal's permission first?" Felt immature and humiliating (imprisoned actually) *p**p*At the same time, I have also met women who 'need' to go to parents house every time they think of an excuse(which happens a lot).*p**p*Like any other things, ideal scenario would be to acknowledge and respect each others' needs and opinions. *p**p* *p**p* *p**p* *p* Anmol Ratan Sachdeva June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am Right to freedom related to personal decisions is a fundamental right. So I beleive that asking for permission to visit parents is unjust. However, a women should inform in-laws about the visit and ensure that she is there for her in-laws, too in case of urgency or need. *p* Chitra Vashisht June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am *p**p**p*This topic is of very little relevance in today's times when MIL-DIL duo dress up in similar fashion, enjoy a drink, shop and socialise together. However, in our society as a whole, be it parents or in-laws,they may not expect but would love this sort of gesture. Taking permission doesn't make one small, but it is not a must by any chance. *p* Leave a Comment Cancel ReplyYou must be logged in to post a comment. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. previous post Finding a soul mate in office next post Is infidelity limited to physical involvement or does it extend to emotional involvement as well?