How justified is the idea of arranged marriage??

Parents expects their children to go for arrange marriage but without knowing each other how can two people be tied with one another?

9 replies
June 7, 2017


Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am
Hridaan June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

It is a problem for sure. Although I have seen many prefer the option, the other ones who are against the practice have their own ways about it by being more open and desperate. The ones who are still being forced into it have a touch and go chance of being happy in such a relationship.

PareshTiwari June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

How justified is the idea of an arranged marriage? Let me start by digressing a bit. Despite being married for a decade now, I am a firm believer that ‘Marriage is a failed institution’s. Or even if marriage is itself not a failed institution, the way we measure whether a marriage has been a success or not, definitely needs to be re-examined. Life at all.points of time should be aimed at fulfillment, at growing and at being happy. Now if you are lucky, both you and your partner will grow in a generally similar direction and if that happens and you still find yourself happy with each other… bingo!! Good for you buddy! But this may not be the case, especially if you married young (be it love or arranged)…and if that is the case, the bigger question is, is it ok to lug around the corpse of a dead relationship.*p**p*Now getting back to the question, in point. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with the idea of an arranged marriage. In fact marriage for love is a fairly recent phenomenon all across the world. Marriage used to be a transaction which did not have its roots in love. It was for furthering ties, bolstering power, securing borders, increasing wealth and ensuring offsprings (healthy ones)! The idea is rooted in something which is fundamentally different from what we expect today (and expect so mainly because of what has been sold to us, nicely labeled and packed in 120 min of entertainment)… A marriage has as much chance of success if it’s arranged as it has when it’s love, in fact even though I don’t have any statistics to support, I guess an arranged marriage may just have an edge when it comes to longevity of a relationship. But is that the yardstick?

Rohini June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

I have a number of friends, both men and women, who want to go for an arranged marriage. We should not see that as something so difficult. Even love marriages fall apart. You can never know another person entirely. Marriage is an eye opener and a process of discovery, either way

Mayank June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

It’s a gamble. But divorce is so stigmatised that peoples stick together. Especially once kids come along.

I am Krishna June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

That is why marriages are breaking so fast. Parents belong to another era and children to another generation. More important than ever is compatibility! It is a must to know the other before committing!

JR June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Today, arranged marriages aren’t like before. The girl and the boy get to know each other, spend few weeks talking and only when they think they are compatible, they get married. So i think arranged marriages are justified nowadays as they are more flexible and the couples have a choice, unlike earlier days where the parents decided everything on behalf on the couples.

Siddhartha Mishra June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

That exactly I ask to my parents. But they give their example .

SamTully June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Now a days its just you have to live with it. Arranged marriage is such thing..

DB June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Marriage is a social contract, and began as a social need: men fended for the family while women took care of it. Nowadays, with women able to fend for themselves and their children on their own, marriage is losing relevance, and as a result, the social fabric is changing. Men are able to gain fatherhood through surrogacy, as well, and can pay for childcare.*p**p*Earlier, arranged marriages made a lot of sense, because marriage was for keeps, the families tried to ensure that the boy or girl had no undesirable qualities, and let the couple figure out compatibility issues on their own, on the condition that they stayed together. Women stayed in the marriage because they didn’t have financial independence, and men stayed because of societal pressure, and children.*p**p*Nowadays, arranged marriages are losing their relevance, but most parents are becoming completely understanding of a couple’s desire to meet and talk to each other before marriage.*p**p*While this is not enough to know another person, one may argue that it is hard to know another person even after having an affair with them, or living with them a few years. People put up a formal front in the beginning, the masks and gloves come off later. *p**p*The odds of a successful marriage are the same, be it arranged or for love, and I’d say they’re higher for an arranged marriage as long as the marriage is with the absolute consent of both boy and girl, with no pressure from the parents.*p**p*Parents carry out all the back ground checks necessary, and are there to counsel and mediate in cases of marital conflict.

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