I love you but not enough to marry you

I never quite understood the point of a live-in relationship. You want to stay exclusive and committed but not enough to marry and share lives forever. Why not just date until you decide if you both want to marry and live together and maintain separate lives until then?

7 replies
Sangeeta Menon
June 7, 2017


  1. Of course, live-in a personal choice. It's not even about it being right or wrong. I just don't see the point to it.*p**p*it neither has the financial and emotional security of marriage nor the freedom of a single life. Like I said, I don't quite understand the place of a live-in relationship.*p*

  2. Love and commitment is not always an issue in a live-in relationship. A person who has to cheat, will cheat or one who finds love with someone one else, will step out of the committed relationship and walk away. And this is irrespective of the gender. However, with a society, especially ours, that's largely patriarchal by nature, the biggest brunt of the breakup is faced by the woman. *p**p*For instance, and this is a very simplistic problem I'm presenting, what happens when the male partner decides to leave after significant years of relationship? The dating scene is not very favorable towards an older woman. She's now left without a partner plus some very unsavory adjectives that are now added to her description.*p*

  3. Live-in because people want to live with each other but not be stamped with that certificate of marriage. It also helps people get closer in their relationships. *p*

  4. Marriage is a socially constructed norm to ensure the parties involved "feel" they are committed enough and do not indulge in physical relationships outside it, and a setup to ensure property/wealth is secured.*p**p*I am sorry, but I guess you don't understand the point of a live-in relationship because, like millions of Indians, marriage is the ultimate destination of a relationship, but it is not. *p**p*Two individuals can stay exclusive and committed without getting the tag of being married and being in proximity or being miles apart would not affect the relationship if they are honest enough and committed enough. *p*

  5. Live-in relationships are no less than marriage I feel. Or maybe just the mock preparation before getting married. Its importance lies in gauging the compatibility of both the partners in a relationship. If it does not work out then you have the option to opt out without much fuss. But with marriage, compatibility issues can result in a legal separation that can be very complex. I think that is why couples opt for live-in relationships.*p*

  6. How does marriage have to do anything with sharing lives? You can be with someone without marrying them. It's your personal choice. Living together is important but we don't need the certificate of marriage to do that. But Indian society always needs some certificate when it comes to love and hate.*p**p*People can easily opt out if the live-in doesn't work out. They don't go into the live-in with the idea that they have to get married. They just go in with the idea of loving each other a little more. That's it. If it doesn't workout it's fine.*p*

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