Ignorance

Recently my sister has been really upset. Her husband comes worried from office and takes it out all on her. He would go on ignoring her for days and doesn’t listen to her stories. He has also started showing irritation because of her being a housewife. My sister is a timid and shy kind and remains depressed. What should I advice her?

6 replies
Ayushi Vaidya
September 1, 2017

6 Comments

  1. Nobody is perfect and different people handle stress differently. Seems like he is turning your sister into a punching bag. But she should not take it personal. More importantly dont allow herself to get angry and yell back. Then they will just end up fighting.
    She needs to think calmly about what could be the problem.
    The simplest reason is that he is just plain tired after a long day. In that case he needs the home very calm and some food as soon as he arrives.
    It maybe that he has financial stress.
    If your sister cant understand his reason for stress she needs to ask him to be very specific about what his problem is. He needs to be even more specific in telling her how exactly she can help.
    He is cribbing that she doesnt work. Maybe he needs her to do some work and increase the household income.
    She deserves to find out what is bothering him and how will she be able to help.
    If he wants ber to work and she is shy maybe she could do some online content for example.
    Maybe he just is stressed out. In that case she needs to help him find some ways to destress like going to a spa or meditation.

  2. please please tell your sister to stop taking crap and dole it out instead.If he starts talking about his day tell him how bad your day was with the gadgets giving way or whatever.Please tell her to be in touch with her family who will at least give her love and confidence and tll her to make friends in the neighbour hood.And tell her not to be a door mat.You help her out by talking to her.Ultimately its her journey but if someone hold her hand inbetweeen blessed will be that person

  3. I have learnt this the hard way, if you take shit world gives you shit. Ask your sister to stand up for herself! Why is he upset because she is a housewife? Because the kids have grown up and now do not need her so much?

    1. I agree with Tina. If you take crap, world gives you more.. standing up for oneself seems to be the only way out.
      Being a home maker is not a demeaning thing, but in today’s world it’s so easy to feel left out, that it’s natural to think lesser and then compare yourself with the supposedly working and successful, remember grass is always greener on the other side.. but I have also learnt it v hard, that grass is greener wherever you are!
      Iam the creator of my own destiny, take things in Ur own hands and refuse to be the doormat anymore. Get busy finding you”….

  4. Perhaps he is especially stressed at work. Not that it is okay to take that out on your spouse, but unfortunately that is what happens. She should sit and ask him what’s wrong, and let him know how his behaviour has changed and that it is worrying her. Come from a place of concern and find the root of the problem by talking and listening

  5. Advise her to stand up for herself . To confront her husband’s behavior because the more she will accept it, the more he will
    be encouraged to behave in a similar manner.
    He has to be told, this is NOT acceptable.
    Being upset is not enough. Her actions should prove, she is hurt.
    Your sister can find some way to keep herself busy thru the day, apart from household duties.
    And she should show her anger- whether thru silence or by confronting him.

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