Intimacy Without Sex

Can there be intimacy without the sexual relationship between long-time partners? We have been together for over a decade now and we still feel attracted to each other and still share a bed. But if truth be told, my partner and I haven’t had sexual intercourse in quite a long time. But we hug and we kiss, change clothes in front of one another. There is warmth and comfort between us but no sexual charge. Does anybody else have that configuration in their relationship?

2 replies
Titir Mukherjee
January 15, 2018


Swati Goswami
Swati Goswami March 30, 2018 - 12:34 pm

I second Simona, it indeed is a very interesting and practical question. Different types work for different couples, also different phases for same couples. I don’t think relationships really have one life cycle that’s predictable but there are different phases that repeat and evolve. The relationship between two individuals is too dynamic to fall under one category. I have personally gone through various permutations and combinations of more sex, less sex, more intimacy and less intimacy. Since there are 2 people involved, individual lives of the couple also affect sex and intimacy.

Simona Terron
Simona Terron February 7, 2018 - 11:53 pm

This is such an interesting question! I know of several couples who claim to have a great sex life but rarely experience any true intimacy. And then there are couples who may not engage in any intercourse per se but are more connected and in love with each other than ever. And speaking from personal experience, being in a long distance relationship can be taxing where intercourse is understandably impossible. Here, intimacy can be achieved only through speaking to each other or through video calls, if that is possible and both parties are willing (some people detest talking on the phone even when there is little other choice). I guess each couple defines what is the glue that will hold them together in the relationship for the long term and strengthen it further.

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