Is it over?

Like the song, we dont talk anymore, Ours is such a situation too. We dont come close anymore. Its not that i miss sex with him, cause it was bad from the very first time. our first kiss was a disaster. Our sex was really really bad, i never got anything out of it, except some juvenile kind of making out. We never had kids, my hope of having my 3 pretty children has dwindled down to, "Maybe i never wanted in the first place…." kind of thing. However, we like each other a lot. We are our best friends, we know each other really well and cant think of leaving each other. We laugh seeing all the funny things, we are updated on whats on net and stuff.. we will watch movies together, go on really good holidays and be happy just being together. But there is no romance, there is no sex, its kind of weird, as we dont talk about it anymore, more so because When i bring it up, he looses it, or he gets upset, or he says i am blaming him, i have to look within too, and that, It takes two to tango.. so the blame is back on me… in a way… "Oh, you are not attracted to me…" ya maybe, because you dont make any effort anymore, not that you made any initially. We went on holidays because, its fun, or its the thing to do, or because you wanted to see those places with someone special… I worked a lot on myself over the years, i saw sexologists, i saw therapists, but i feel, all he cares about is his career. I have become too involved with myself to gather the courage to leave, but when i remember my dreams of being a mother and having a house full of dogs and children, i resent him, i hate him . Can you tell me, whats going on? Are we finished? Are we just prolonging the inevitable… Div……

23 replies
Anonymous
July 13, 2017

23 Comments

  1. You can't squeeze your entire married  life in 337 words and ask for advice! *p**p*Please seek professional help NOW !! Please !!!*p*

  2. I think an oen discussion is always better than brooding silently. Talk to him. If he is unwilling to open up, probably it is time to move on. however, have clear thoughts in head as you know the situation better thatn anybody else.*p*

  3. It is not clear what is wrong with the sex that you guys intitially tried out. Was it painful (to one or both)? Or was it merely non-enjoyable? Or you could not go through with the act — enough to possibly get pregnant? Or is it that despite going through the motions of (unenjoyable or painful) sex, this did not result in pregnancy? Or is it that after the early bad sex, you don't do it any more — and so no chance of getting pregnant?*p**p*Besides, you seem to have two unfulfilled desires — one to have babies of your own, and the other to have enjoyable sex.*p**p*Both of you need to have a medical check up – to make sure there are no biological issues that prevent you from becomming pregnant. If you CAN get pregnant with his sperms, there are many ways to take his sperm to your ovary — even without sex. You can also seek doctor's help for this if required.*p**p*That leaves the issue of sex. Who finds it more unpleasant — you or him? What is the problem? Are you and he able to enjoy sex while masturbating? Have you tried intimately fondling each other? Is that too not fun?*p**p*You can respond here and some us can help, or you can go to a QUALIFIED professional to check what is possible as a solution. *p**p*As some others too have suggested, you need to talk to him — tell him what you miss in the marriage. If he responds that it is all (or partly) your fault, then insist that both of you go to a good counselor to discuss the problems. This should be your condition for continuing with the marriage.*p**p**p* *p*

  4. Yes, you do have a problem but you need to know that there are many couples who are in the same boat as you. There was an article in the Times of  India a few years ago. *p**p*The problem itself is not a reason to terminate the marriage. You need to tell your husband that his unwillingness to acknowledge and deal with this issue shows that he is not committed to saving the marriage. *p**p*you need to speak up and explain this to him for the sake of the children you want. If he understands this then both of you need to go to a  therapist to figure out how to tackle your problems. *p**p*If he is not cooperating then you need to think of leaving the marriage.its dead anyway. *p*

Yes No