Keeping your mobile phone and passwords private and defining these boundaries in your relationship- is this healthy/detrimental?

While we talk of being honest with our partner, it has been often seen that relationships have turned ugly when the spouse uses gmail, FB passwords and whatsapp conversations maybe just out of curiosity but it often leads to gross misinterpretations of conversations with friends of opposite sex and raking up the past which can create havoc in the current relationship. While trust is key, respecting each other's space and understanding that each individual is bound to have a life outside the bond that you both share- does it make sense in mutually deciding that you will respect this space and stay away from your partner's phone, not demand that they share their passwords?

22 replies
June 7, 2017


  1. I do not agree to the statement "dont do things which will make your spouse resentful"  who decided what constitues resentful. Its too broad and subjective a term. So if a woman's talking to a male friend is objected to by her spouse , would that mean she severs all ties. I completely oppose giving just anyone that kind of blanket authority.*p*

  2. Glad to hear that you decide to put your insecurities aside and stick to your agreement. Thats key in any relationship. *p*

  3. This is the ideal relationship every couple should have and such a case sharing passwords  and the phone is  of no consequence as both trust and repect each other and give that space. But I have often seen one among the couple tempted to breach that code of trust and thats when hell breaks loose. Its great to hear about your parents and wish more people follow theor example*p*

  4. Indeed! Its important to draw a line in every relationship, and a spouse is no different. There is a life as an individual that we have which is not tied to the spouse*p*

  5. Glad to hear that I am not the only one who thinks like that. I wrote a post a while ago and was bombarded with questions and people telling me why would you hide your passwords/phone unless you were doing something you want to conceal. Well If I was I would not have been guillable enough not to delete it!*p*

  6. It't funny that due to my extremely pathetic memory, I cannot remember passwords, so my husband has even made a finger unlock for me, on his I phone, but i am bad at that too, so I feel frustrated when i cant unlock to check a sudden message. *p**p*But i guess you know when something is off, women do not need a phone to confirm this, our intuition is quite strong in this. *p**p*And I have no locks and passwords in my phone. So I think each to his own. I do not feel the need to hide anything, neither does he. But for people who feel the need to do so, maybe one explanation is the official mails that is required to be official only. Other than that I dont see a need for secrecy. *p*

  7. You hit the nail! Why do we have to behave like two bodies one soul! I am total believer in having and giving space. Also many a flirtations die, many interests too. Why should we know about every little thing that happens with our partners?  *p*

  8. Yes, I think people must always define boundaries in relationships. That said, I think those boundaries are fluid. They can change as the relationship matures.  *p*

  9. I will start with a story from five years ago-*p**p*I was studying in The Netherlands and I had a classmate from Uganda- she and I sat next to each other all the time and became very close freinds. She was a bit older to me- she had a 13-14 year old son. We were discussing general stuff and technology and I told her that my parents and I don't keep passwords from each other. We all know all the passwords we use! She said, "wow, you really are a family"!*p**p*The way I have seen my parents- they trust each other. They share things with each other. And they know how to give each other the required privacy. They don't spy on one another with passwords. For that matter, they don't spy on me either :)*p**p*And that is what sharing your password with your family means- that you know they trust you in return and don't keep a tab on you.*p**p*I still don't see the big deal in hiding digital passwords. *p*