Keeping your mobile phone and passwords private and defining these boundaries in your relationship- is this healthy/detrimental?

While we talk of being honest with our partner, it has been often seen that relationships have turned ugly when the spouse uses gmail, FB passwords and whatsapp conversations maybe just out of curiosity but it often leads to gross misinterpretations of conversations with friends of opposite sex and raking up the past which can create havoc in the current relationship. While trust is key, respecting each other's space and understanding that each individual is bound to have a life outside the bond that you both share- does it make sense in mutually deciding that you will respect this space and stay away from your partner's phone, not demand that they share their passwords?

22 replies
June 7, 2017


  1. We know each other's passwords. There are no secrets but that doesn't mean we snoop behind each other's backs.*p*

  2. me and my husband have known each other for the past 2 years and he has a lock on his phone and all his passwords of all hi social ids are known to me. not because i had to know but just because he wanted me to know every single detail of his life. yes boundaries are important. but it depends on who you share your boundaries with. i know i will be happy not knowing his details or passwords and teh same goes for him. samll things like these doesnt effect a relation. all that matters is trusting the partner. *p*

  3. I feel there is no one answer to this, it would vary from couple to couple. It can be that they decided that each should take the other into confidence when making friends with anyone from the opposite sex and then that needs to be respected. If they decide that no one will ask the other any question each should try to respect that. However, given that we are humans and not programmed machines, pact or not, there should be space to discuss one's insecurities with the partner. Of course both should have the same liberties or constraints in a relationship. *p*

  4. Although I don't have any male friends,  there is a golden rule between me & my hubby that we won't spy on each others phone or emails.  My hubby has a few female friends & was also in a relationship before we got married. *p**p*However,  I  trust my husband completely.  Yes, like most wives I do become insecured at times,  but it is totally upon me to trust my husband or doubt him.*p**p*I choose the former for a healthy relationship. *p*

  5. If the trust is there I do not think there is any need to violate those spaces. This is not something you should ask your partner to comply. I feel it is very childish. Something like this will surely put me off.*p*

  6. Exactly! I do not understand this. Whether you are single or married you have no right to check your partner's phone. I find it very offensive and cheap. And on top of that keeping a track of facebook passwords and personal stuff is too pathetic. So there is no doubt in my head that these things should be avoided in a relationship.*p*

  7. True trust and key and as long as both stick to the unsaid pact, its a fairytale. But often one is tempted to break the pact and thats when things start going downhill. This is what happens in most cases, not all though and an ideal relationship would be one where both respect and maintain restraint despite having all the information about their spouse*p*

  8. Ha thats funny! Personally I think more than official mails (which anyway a spouse wont  be able to comprehend) its the pesonal stuff like having a purely platonic relationship with someone from the opoiste sex which is often the cause of discord in a relationship. So the question is – either decide to be the sacrifical goat and sever all ties to please the spouse or stick to your conviction which also means its better that the spouse  doesnt invade on your space. Each should respect that boundary*p*

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