Leaving an abusive relationship

I feel abusive relationships work in a cycle. There is abuse, followed by apology, followed by abuse, and this does on. That is why it is difficult for somone to leave an abusive relationship. They are stuck in this cycle, hoping that it will stop, or that they deserve it. What's the best way to get out?

7 replies
Swapnil Vyas
July 13, 2017


  1. Well, there is never a formula for this, though we have seen a pattern in this. I would think, that if this happens more than twice or thrice and if the intensity of the abuse is increasing….one must get out. Absence of the abusing partner, would enable the other to think through the subject and also allow one to weigh the consequences much more clearly.*p**p*But enduring an abusive partner, is a bigger crime, circumstances notwithstanding.*p*

  2. Yes, but sometimes there is such escalation of commitment that people refuse to leave scared to be alone.*p*

  3. Some very good points there. A lot of times friends also abandon these people when they see them continuing to be in the relationship. But it is impotant to stand by that person till they realise it is time to leave.*p*

  4. One definitely should!  Though it is not always easy as those that are emotionally abusive can be quite manipulative and keep the other person hanging.*p*

  5. This abuse cycle reminds me of a short story by VS Naipaul – Love, love, love alone. True, it is a vicious one. Partners keep forgiving in the fond hope there will be genuine rectification but it is back to the same old thing. Once you get to know he is a chronic case who loves to abuse, you should walk out with dignity. Simple and effective. *p*

  6. A lot of people cannot leave abusive relationships because of various reasons*p**p*Financial constraints*p**p*Loss of self confidence*p**p*Lack of support from family*p**p*They focus on the good parts of the relationship and are optimistic it will improve*p**p*They actually blame themselves.*p**p*Getting out is very difficult.*p**p*The realisation has to come that what they are undergoing is not normal and its not going to improve.*p**p*They tend to get cut off from people so they need to have a very supportive group.*p**p*nobody can force someone to get out of such a relationship.*p*

  7. I think one should break this cycle. Even Krishan allowed Shishupal to abuse him till the count of 100. After that he punished him. Same ways there is a limit of everything. If one feels that she/he has suffered enough then she/she should must break the cycle and should take a firm decision. *p**p*Decision could be to give a break to the relationship for some months. I never want anyone to break it completely without trying their best. Few relationships are life lines you know. *p**p* *p*

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