Love my husband but hate his family

I have been married almost 6 months. It was a love marriage and I didn't know my husband's family very well. But since our wedding I feel their resentment against me. I even heard my mother in law tell someone that they could have gotten someone better than me, and that I trapped their son. My husband seems unaware and I don't know how to tell him without making it seem like I am bitching about his family. I do love him, but am beginning to hate his family. Don't want this to spoil my relationship!

17 replies
Anonymous
June 7, 2017

17 Comments

  1. If I were you, I would try harder and win over the parents with love. Try harder – six months is nothing. *p*

  2. Any new person in the family has to make efforts to "fit" into the family. And before you accuse me of being sexist – it applies to both sexes. *p**p*There's no disappointment in trying and losing. But remember if you don't try now, you can never ever try later in life. *p*

  3. Clarification for sexist remark – had it been a guy I would have said the same. *p**p*And Mr/Ms.anonymous – I have had a love marriage and know what it's like to get "accepted" in another family. Trust me – it's worth taking the effort because finally all hearts melt and her husband will really really appreciate her effort. End of the day he is not going to forget his parents. Maybe you can involve him too in Mission Winover and both of you can jointly make a big push :)*p*

  4. Getting along with your in-laws and developing a sort of mutual fondness is a slow, gradual process. It won't happen overnight, and since you have heard your MIL's notions about your marriage, it may take even longer. Unless you are facing abuse and/or harassment in any form – in which case, you should stand up for yourself and consider moving out (with or without your husband) – it is best to give them the benefit of doubt. When we have our differences of opinions with our parents, who have birthed and raised us, it is unrealistic to expect that there would never be disagreements with one's in-laws, who are basically a set of strangers and also in an age when people are really set in their ways. So, give it time and try to iron out your difference one-on-one. *p*

  5. I always tell my friends who are getting married that the 1st three years of marriage are the toughest. It takes so long to adjust and understand everything and everyone around you.*p**p*It is still pretty shocking when you come across people saying such things about you when it isn't even your fault. I'd suggest you try being nice to them for a while and see if they change their opinion. Talk it out with your husband and try to sort it out. Communication helps. Sit with your in-laws and talk it out. Perhaps they are scared that you'll take away their son from them.*p**p*If nothing works, you'll have to put your foot down. There is a limit to taking such things from his family.*p**p*All the best.*p*

  6. Thank you for understanding. I would also let these comments and jibes pass as we are all trying to get along for the sake of my husband. But I am afraid that things may take a turn for the worse as time goes on. And I want to avoid that. Perhaps I'll lay low, do my best and see how things go from there.*p*

  7. Thanks for the suggestions. Even I don't want my husband to get in the middle of all this!*p*

Yes No