Marriage across community/religion: Advantages and adjustments

How many of you are married to someone from another culture, state or religion? What, according to you, is the best part of an inter cultural marriage and what are the challenges you faced adjusting to the new culture?

9 replies
Janani Ravindran
June 7, 2017

9 Comments

  1. Well, it depends on the scenario. With a marriage two cultures are nerged together to give birth to a new culture customised in their own way.. though it is not always so easy to maintain both the sides but what is a life without challenges! There might be hardships at both the sides but one needs to patiently tackle the situation. As long as both the couple are mature and understanding enough, no hurdle can stop them being happy and successful in a marriage…

  2. I'm a hybrid of Kumaoni & Punjabi while my husband is a Punjabi. *p**p*I was born & brought up in Delhi while my husband is based in Mumbai.  Until my marriage,  I  had never seen Mumbai. *p**p*There's a huge difference between Delhi & Mumbai.  Though a few things are similar.  *p**p*The first two & a half months were very difficult for me & I even contemplated walking out & going back to Delhi.*p**p*Fortunately,  common sense prevailed to me & I decided to give us a chance. *p**p*I am glad that I did that. *p*

  3. True. As long as the couple can sort out issues between them, I think the cultural differences are not an issue.*p**p*So, what practices followed by your husband have you adopted even though you do not believe in it?

  4. Loved your story! Being a Tam-Bram myself, I could so relate to it. What are the cultural practices that your wife follows that you have adapted post marriage?

  5. That is so true 🙂 As long as the couple can work out the differences, there should be no issues in an intercultural marriage I think.

  6. I am. *p*While not drastically different, my wife and I are from different communities and it has definitely helped open both our minds by exposing each of us to new worlds, the way certain things are done and of course, sometimes even the way the events are celebrated. My Diwali piece for your esteemed site being a testament for the same.*p*If you’re ready to accept it and experience new things, it can be an eye-opener.*p*The downside is that a lot of things can sort of start to bug you – esp, in the case that my wife’s community is ridiculously patriarchal and it really bugs me. There are also differences in our mindsets and the way we tackle finances due to our background and culture too. *p**p*Of course, none of these are irreconcilable differences, and if you’re ready to make it work, it will. And you may even learn something new in the process.

  7. Me. I think marrying outside your community, region or religion means being exposed to a whole new world- up, close and personal. As both spouses are outsiders to eithers eco-system there is a lot of critical approach. For us, it has been good. Allowed us to assimilate the good of both – in this case the Marwari business acumen, love for socializing, a sense of fraternity, the amazing desserts, and Malayali love for thinking, reading, talking and of course our fish curries- among the many. And often I get special attention for being ‘the exotic Malayali’ bahu ;-)*p*On flip side, being from another community exaggerates the existence of some prevalent flaws- like patriarchal attitudes, religious differences, for women often-attitude towards their work and career, role expectations and sometimes, even food. I guess it varies from couple to couple, how they choose with these conflicts. But I have seen these often being the cause for irreparable differences between couples..

  8. As seen it’s difficult for both partners to get adjusted into another culture ,state or religion at the beginning but as time passes by and one learn to get through the good and bad of both, new doorways open. It’s always difficult for getting adjusted into a different environment but then to test ones limits is what life all about. In life some experiences are good some bad but to survive through bad and bring out the good is what required. Challenges are always there and so geting through those challenges is important and to gain experiences, because it’s life and not a competition that’s what required…the sportsman spirit.

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