Married celebacy

How long into marriage, did you stop having sex? (people with good sex lifes within marriages, can ignore this question)

8 replies
Malini Misra
June 7, 2017


  1. Probably when couples run out of steam! The question should be framed in a more elaborate manner – to probe the reasons instead of just focusing on the number of years. Boredom and predictability, turning to God or becoming deeply spiritual, having growing-up kids, lack of potency, frigidity, having extra-marital flings can turn a marriage non-sexual. These are some of the reasons leading to non-performance within the confines of marriage.  *p*

  2. 28 years is a long time, and with so many articles on, it takes two to tango, or you need to work at your marriage to keep it alive, i am really confused as to how did our grannies reproduce thier 8th child, at 40 without any problem, which means they were active for ages, assuming they got married in thier early teens. As we enter a super fast era, has marriage lost its charm? its more like companionship rather than a living marriage , isnt it… By the way, once a week, is not that bad at all.. 🙂 *p*

  3. Yes, thank you. The question was meant to go more elaborate into the question, which you have. *p**p*When the couple run out of steam, so true. The reasons seem so diverse isnt it. Each couple is different, though the act is the same. So do we safely say that, when both people involved, stop working on the marriage the fizz is gone.*p*

  4. Dr Trivedi, thank you for your detailed reply on this topic. As someone pointed out, it is one of the most pressing question yet so little spoken of. And you have so aptly pointed out, infact enlightened us about facts which we accept as fate or we resent each other for falling out. *p**p*To stop having sex is not the main tragedy, it is how the man and wife stop being man and wife and something happens there; to atleast one, of them, the weaker one, especially who suffers in silence. Would you suggest therapy for such couples>? what if one of them is unwilling for therapy? are many couples leading a silent killer life like this these days?*p*

  5. I deal with people's problems and so have known a great variation in the time taken by couple to start practicing celibacy. In a couple of cases it was just one day. Maybe because they did not have an idea how to indulge properly and were shockingly disappointed. Few attain this status just after one year of marriage out of sheer lack of capabilities, pre-mature ejaculation being the cause in most cases.*p**p*There is a sizable number which stop having sex after they have had a baby. In most cases wife becomes disinterested and the husband accepts.*p**p*Even among the couples who otherwise fall in the category of being normal, where the frequency steadily declines, the passion goes off and only the act remains.*p**p*The reasons for celibacy, range from psychological factors to medical, to lack of knowledge but it is surprising that many couples accept it as if their tea is little less sweet or the soda a bit flat.*p**p*Usually one of the two is responsible while the other either suffers silently or finds avenues outside the marriage.*p*

  6. Malini, counselling does help. Both need to be willing to come. In cases where one does not cooperate, I work with the suffering individual to extend help and solution.*p*

  7. Interesting and much needed question! We have been married for 28 years now. Earlier we cldn't keep our hands off each other, now we have come to max once a week. Most of the times it is routine rather than passionate. Not that we do not feel like it, but not with each other! *p*

  8. It was about thrice a week till seven years of marriage. Then we had a baby and sex is out of the house. We have it may be once a fortnight. May be that's the reason people seek sex elsewhere…*p*

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