My break up advice to my guy friend made me a ‘bitch’

I love my guy friends more than my girl friends, any given day. My guy best friend was in an abusive relationship. We all saw how his girlfriend would abuse him in public and in private. The love turned to frustration and then to fear and my friend snapped contacts with all of us. It took me months of talking and explaining and counselling to make him understand that he needs to take a stand for himself. And even after he walked out, it took me weeks of babysitting him to make sure he got back to being the person he always was. And now that has made me a certified bitch. Not just his ex girlfriend, but even our friends think I intervened too much in his private space and I am the reason behind their ‘unhappiness’. Is it really so?

6 replies
Sreetama Basu
June 7, 2017


  1. no…At times I think we all talk 'women empowerment' but can only accpet the Bichara version. People still tend to be judgemental towards any opinionated woman.*p**p*If you would have just sobbed and talked how bad this woman is doing, people might have enjoyed the 'bitching'. But you did something solid that actually does good to the guy… so it gets difficult for many to accept.*p**p*I sure follow not to intervene in ayone's personal life, but I also believe no third person can ever come between the two, unless they were already apart.*p**p* *p*

  2. No. Sometimes it is okay to intervene in your friends affairs- that's what friends are for.. Give it time and don't bother about what other people think. Either way, people are going to call you names!*p*

  3. It's good to love and care for your friends but when it crosses a boundry, it is about control.*p**p*I'm assuming that your friend was an adult who made a decision that did not bring the best to him. as a friend and well-wisher, it was good (and right) of you to advice him. However, whether he took your advice was his choice to make and not yours to encourage him to make.*p**p*Loved ones make wrong decisions so often. Our job is not to stop what is their personal learning experience but to be there when they learn their lesson and need our support the most to make the change.*p**p*  *p*

  4. Well, I think your friend is old enought to decide for himself what is good for him and what is not! So if he was really happy in the relationship, or thought that he could find ways to make it work, I am sure he would have done it. Friendships are special, and we all take our friends' advice, but never at the cost of walking out of a relationship.*p**p*So I don't blame you for their break up. And if you intervened too much, which according to your friends you did, I think your friend in the relationship should have been the first one to tell you that!  šŸ™‚  *p*

  5. don't you worry, its the easiest way to reassure our wrongdoings, and its the most common picture to give a story that ends this way. a female helping a man out of a relationship, conclusion..the female caused the rift, she enjoyed evey bit of doing so and she is the certified BEE AII TEE SEE EHH. but what do u care, you know what you did, why you did. keep your conscience clear and the blabber mouths will get another story to gossip about!!*p*

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