My husband is based in Singapore. I work and live in delhi. I love my job but i also think that the distance is killing our relationship. What should I do?

My husband is based in Singapore. I work and live in delhi. I love my job but i also think that the distance is killing our relationship. What should I do?

8 replies
Surabhi Pandey
July 13, 2017


  1. Intimacy and being close to the person you love is the key to any relationship. Are there chances of either of you relocating to each other’s place in near future? If not, the relationship will go through a lot of stress and strain in the long term. You mentioned that your work is important to you. How important is the relationship in your life? And to your close ones- parents, kids, etc.? What is the guarantee that either of you will remain honest, away from each other, if it is for a long period of time? I guess you will have to take a call depending on the answers to these questions and your family situation.

  2. For ambitious people this choice is difficult to make. The first question that comes to my mind is when you guys decided to pick up jobs in different locations, what was the long term plan? I am sure you would have given some thought to it. Also you need to decide what is a priority for you at this point (which I sense is your relationship). But since you are in a dilemma this also means that somewhere you are also ambitious about your career.
    Discuss your insecurities with your partner and let him know that this relationship is important to you.
    Honestly rather than discussing this question on this forum, I suggest speak to your partner about this.
    Always remember you are a strong confident woman and your location will not be a hindrance in pursuing a successful career. You will find your way 🙂

  3. Skype,Whatsapp video calls.Sing to him via voice notes and even scold him when u miss him. :)*p**p*Pen down your emotions,write letters,poems, short stories.compile them and surprise him when he's before you.*p**p*To sum up.Live him.In his absence explore what more you can do for him.This way you'll find the best of you.*p**p*All the Best*p*

  4. Between the place and the person, I think it is the person who needs to be given priority. Therefore steps have to be taken by both of you. Both of you need to sit down and talk it out as to 'where else if not Singapore and Delhi?' Is there a middle path possible? *p**p*I know it is quite easy for people to say to the wife to quit the job and join her husband. After all, the position of a woman is with her man (like they say). But doesn't the vice versa apply too? *p**p*Your relationship is precious. So do talk calmly and find a backup job, suiting both your tastes and wishes and stay happy! *p*

  5. Someone will have to take the risk. Prioritize between your relationship and your job and choose what you feel is more important, which I can see is your relationship. Believe me you will not regret your decision. You never know, there may be a great job waiting for you in Singapore. Change brings out the best in us. The career change would help you grow too. Being with your husband will make your new job feel better than your old one.  I, personally, would go for it.*p*

  6. If it's killing you really then you can try to move out and go to Singapore or he can try finding a job in Delhi. Do whatever you feel is the best and don;t worry much about the future. If it's worth it then any step you want to.*p*

  7. Distance can affect a relationship as you miss out on having your loved one by your side and sharing as much time with them as possible. If neither of you can move now, maybe have a time frame of by when you guys want to be together and start working towards it. Say, if you consider two years, then pick your city of choice and work towards applying there. By then you will have made the best of your current jobs and can look for a career upgrade, as well as being together. Till then, Skype is your best friend :)*p*

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