Need suggestions

I am 44 yr widowed man from pune, having 2 kids. my wife passed away 5 years back. I was totally busy with office and looking after my kids. I have some tragic past as my first girlfriend/finance passed away in accident and my wife passed away due to heart attack. Since then I am living happily with my kids.Recently my friends suggested me to join dating site for companion/female friend. I joined one site and surprisingly got in touch with divorcee lady(single mother). We connected very fast to each other that we meet for coffee next day. It was good 2 hours coffee date. We shared lots of things about each other. She even told me about her last 2 relationships very openly.We used to chat long hours at nights. She was giving all indication that she just love my company. she was very excited and was telling me that she is eagerly ready to be in relationship with me as most of our views/liking/hobbies were matching.  On 3rd day of our friendship, she suggested that we should go for dinner on next day. I was ready, due to holidays my kids were went to my in-laws house. At night around 1 a.m. she messaged me to meet in morning at her place as she is very excited. I took leave and went to her place. We had nice talk and while talking I took her hand in my hands. All of sudden she told me sorry I can’t do it. I was ok and leave her hands. She told me that she will inform me about evening dinner. So I left place and went to CCD for coffee. She sent me message that sorry as she is not able recover from her previous relationship and canceled our dinner.After that date she just stop communication, I was not able to understand what happened in few mints. I even messaged her “Is there anything I did wrong?”. She told me no you are very nice lovable guy. We can be good friends, can’t move ahead. I do respect her feelings. She is not even consider me as her friend as most of my messages (which I write hardly once in few days) she is deleting without reading.I really fall in love with her, but do respect her feelings and stopped communication with her. But she activated my sensual desire. Now I don’t know how to come out of it. It’s really difficult for me. Few day I am taking long route to my office from her home. Although I am not stopping there, but can’t forget her. What can I do?

14 replies
June 7, 2017


  1. This sounds as though she is not ready for a new relationship, and needs more time. You should take her suggestion and remain good friends, and maybe one day, she might come to care for you. If not, you will need to remain strong and keep away.*p*

  2. You've seen worse in life and got past all of that. You're a strong person with a big heart. And, you were there for your children when they needed you the most. So, don't worry. Good karma will work for you. Don't worry. If things have to work out then it will. And if it doesn't then you're experienced enough to face it. So, don't worry. *p*

  3. First things first: She is not ready for this, and she is still not over her past relationship. People follow different timelines to heal and sometimes, they are not even aware of the fact that it would take them that long.*p**p*But what you need to focus on is, you are certainly healed at some level, if not completely. Therefore you could take this step. And were ready to be in love. This also gives you an insight that you are capable of feeling love and being in it. You need to pursue that thought and feeling. She became the medium for that relaisation but maybe she doesn't need to be the holder of it.*p**p*You need to pursue that feeling of yours and still be on the site, or still look for love. Right now it will be difficult for you, for you also need to go through a phase of convalescence. But at the same time, understand that the source of your love and happiness is not outisde of you, it is inside you. So, don't give up on love. Don't give up on your belief that it is possible to find love and have another experience.*p*

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