Sexless marriage

I've been married over 10 years. My husband and I love each other but somewhere along the line we have both lost interest in sex in our marriage and it has become very infrequent. I have tried talking to my husband but he says it's normal to not have as much again as one did when younger. I'm afraid this may affect our marriage. How do I talk to my shy husband and add spice to the bedroom?

6 replies
June 7, 2017


  1. You write as if you both are by and large okay with such a situation. And if not, why are you taking this casually ?*p**p*There has to be a reason for the husband to be evading the issue. His health may be preventing him to indulge. I do not doubt that he has an affair because the libido does not get adversely affected as a result of an affair. The romance has died down and maybe you are not putting enough efforts to appear desirable to him. *p**p*Talking may not help and some meaningful steps towards action are needed, including visiting a counselor, because mostly couples are unable to handle such things on their own.*p*

  2. Cuddle with him and put on a movie but the movie that is on should be the coloured variety and then blush and say it was a mistake ,but continue watching the movie looking shy n demure. I am sure the end will not be demure. *p**p*Get up in the morning and say awkwardly aap ne to raat ko ….. Don't complete the sentence. If he is surprised then tell him cloyingly apko Kutch yard Nahin rehta. *p**p*Dance in front of him especially the Nagin dance. *p**p*And still the gates are closed then use his credit card extensivlely   Not a replacement to sex but comes pretty close in the satisfaction it gives. *p*

  3. Regarding tips to spice up the ambience, to switch from pure romance to hardcore carnal stuff, you should first face your husband and pose a tough question without batting an eyelid: hubby dear, have you lost interest in having sex with me or have you lost interest in having sex? Observe how he shifts his eyeball or tries to dodge the query. His silence also conveys an answer – he is trying to be evasive. Grab him hard down there and don't leave him till he answers it straight. No point making any concessions for his shyness. He has to answer it categorically. The treatment should begin after that.  *p*

  4. At times it the value of sex does depriciate. But you need to be careful regarding the matter. I think there is a lack of intimacy that may be creeping up between you two. It is important for you two to spend some intimate moments. If both of you can afford a vacation, it would be great. Maybe that will revive fresh feelings again. As your husband is shy so you should be taking the initiative. Try to change the dynamics. I think a change of mood is all you guys need.*p*

  5. if you both share love and emotional intimacy then i think you should ask your husband to be more physically intimate and if he shies away from your plan then ask him if their is any other problem. maybe he is also wondering how to break this up to you.*p*