Should I play mediator for my friend’s in their relationship problem?

My best friend recently shared some relationship trouble she’s been having with her boyfriend of two years. Her boyfriend also wants to meet me alone and discuss issues. Neither knows that the other has spoken to me regarding it. I can’t tell the guy what my friend thinks as she talked to me as her friend. Should I meet/ talk to him at all? Or will trying to be a middle person only complicate things?

4 replies
Shahnaaz Khan
June 7, 2017

4 Comments

  1. Never! Just be a listener and try and voice out what the other feels about their partner, as if they are your thoughts. That’s the best one can do.

  2. I have been in this situation. They are both my friends. Early in their relationship they had this huge tiff and the guy was like she would loose her coz the girl was leaning towards her ex. I listened to both when they needed me to hear, I tried really really hard to sound neutral, non-judgemental and ‘wise’. …in the end all went well. The guy won over the girl. She realised her ex of course was so good for her. It’s been more than a decade, they are married to each other. Although my best friend still thinks I had less faith in her coz I listened (in her words helped) the guy.

  3. I personally feel you should meet them together as being a middle person isn’t easy. Talking to the guy without your friend’s knowledge would complicate things unnecessarily. Meeting them together and talking it out will help in clearing things out in a transparent manner.

  4. You being the middle person will only complicate the problem. A relationship is best understood by the people involved in it and you getting into their scheme of things may result in misunderstandings which were never on the cards. I am sure they are mature enough to solve their own relationship issues. Till then just be there for them.

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