What do married men want from affairs is still a mystery to me

Why get married at the first place if you intended to cheat? And I honestly feel, there’s nothing that cannot be solved by talking and proper communication. Having an affair outside marriage definitely seems the easy answer. But married men need to understand that its very important to keep the gates for transparent communication open. At least try to talk it out guys!

8 replies
Sreetama Basu
June 7, 2017


  1. Men by nature are polyamorous. Monogamy is a fairly recent development in history of human evolution. Men think from their loins and women from their hearts. *p**p*Reasons to cheat by any partner is a mere justification. Sometimes a valid one. Ones perception are their reality. *p**p*I struggled for years to find answers. Peace came when I stopped searching*p*

  2. Many people feel insecure under the trappings of a committed relationship. The idea of losing their partner to someone else, not being validated enough, not being attractive enough, or just simply having low self esteem are several factors that contribute to unfaithfullness. Your partner should be vulnerable with you and communicate their inecurities with you so that you can develop a plan to work on them together. *p*

  3. Why did you mention only men in your question? May be you think female's infidelity is justified.Whatever the reason remains same for both and that reason is humans like to use multiple persons for their pleasure.Different partner for different purpose,Love doesnt come in to play here.*p*

  4. The topic may get little diverted, but instead of answering, I m asking a question:*p**p*If an affair by married men is considered as a cheating, then what about second-third marriage by married men??*p**p*We have numbers of examples in our religious/mythological characters, whom we are seeing with great respect.. e.g. Kuru Shantanu, Pandu, Krishna, Arjun, Bhim, Raja Dashrath, etc. Most of kings/princes (till 1947) married more than once and there was no prohibition for common citizen as well. *p**p* *p**p* *p*

  5. Yes! So true! I think we get all wrapped up in what society has taught us…the thing to think is that we are not made for one person, we will be attracted to others and at times when our gurads are low we will fall to it. *p*

  6. Married men is a very genelised category. They cannot be put into a slot as far their behaviour is concerned.*p**p*Married men who have affairs outside the marriage may be because of various reasons ranging from lack of passion from wife and it's understanding on the wife's part to love for variety and greater frequency of love making that the wife allows.*p**p*Unless you specify the nature of the problem coming closer to the solution may seem elusive.*p*

  7. I do not think they get into a relationship thinking that will teach their partners at some point. Its the mechanical way of living and the boredom that creeps up which is responsible for it and it can happen in the case of both the man and the woman. I m also not on support of this and as you said transparent communication is the least that they can do. That is why I feel that its better not to keep your partner in the dark and be vocal about your amorous intrigues. *p*

  8. Most of the times they don't intend to cheat but that happens. And by the time they realize they are neck deep into doing something wrong which they never wanted in the first place. The well off men enjoy when they get extra attention from any lady who wants to enjoy their money lure them into something. This may sound a little offending for all the women readers but I'm a woman too and I can confirm that this culture exists in our society. And similarly a guy would use his money to attract women out of their marriage. And by the time the culprit thinks that they should communicate it's always very late as their spouses have already lost their faith in them.  *p*

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