What do men feel about marriage markets?

Do men also feel that they are judged in the marriage market – for their looks, jobs, assets? Do men also feel that they are forced into matrimony? Share your experiences with the arranged marriage markets.

8 replies
Saumya Tewari
June 7, 2017

8 Comments

  1. Having met lot of men in arranged settings, I have found that marriage suitability is decided on family, looks, education, job- money etc, but during the meeting other things come into play. *p**p*Today’s metro sexual man definitely feels judged for his looks and the money he is making. *p**p*As about being forced into matrimony, I think it has lot to do with an individual’s personality i.e whether he is free thinking or lives by the book.

  2. So, would you say statistically, post-30 for women, and post-35 for men- pressure to get married?

  3. Please excuse the typo in the question- How do men feel about the marriage market?*p*:-)

  4. Well, I can only speak for men. But I can say for sure that men do get forced into marriage. And not because they’ve gotten into a relationship before marriage. But it can very well be because they have never had an experience of what a real relationship is about. So when the cross 35, they end up getting married to whatever vague idea they have about what a good relationship is all about..

  5. Everyone is judged regardless of whether you are a man or woman!*p*Ofcourse, in the case of the men your annual salary is one of the first things your prospective father in law shall ask of you!

  6. Now for the second question, whether men feel forced into matrimony.*p**p*Well not really. The reasons are two-fold : – *p*1. We aren’t considered as a responsibility by our father. He doesn’t have to send us off to go and live with complete strangers for the rest of our lives. So our parents are a little chilled out. *p*2. We don’t have a time-restricted, limited supply of procreation hormones.*p**p*So we aren’t pressurized in out younger ages as much as girls are pressurized once they cross the twentieth year benchmark.*p**p*But the moment we hit our thirties, then God help us if we are single still. The whole of human population in our physical-social and social-media vicinity start to pressurize us so much that it might just turn us into diamonds (yes I am calling us men coal).*p**p*A single man of thirty five is considered to be a bigger stain than an unmarried young girl, on the white cloth of the family reputation.*p*Our parents would either kill us or die themselves before they see a single son at the age of thirty five.*p**p*Plus there is the grandchildren expectations. As sons, it is our sworn (even before we are born) to let our parents play with tiny tots and to give out family name a genetic extension. So that adds to the pressure for men after thirty.*p**p*But all in all, we aren’t as traumatized as women are from the age of 17 till they get married (after which the duty of traumatizing them, shifts to the in-laws :P).

  7. Now those are two different questions. Being judged and being forced into marriage.*p*I’ll start with being judged. *p*The feeling of being judged is a funny thing. Just as extremely beautiful woman think that their intellect is judged for looking very good, woman less praised for beauty think they are judged for not looking good. *p*But the thing about arranges marriage is it resembles commercial transaction, even though we call it a sacrament. Both parties weigh their assets and liabilities and find a suitable partner that can fit in the equation in such a way that will limit losses and increase profit. Brutal but true.*p*So yes, even men feel like they judged. Also surprisingly many a times men fell insecure because they think they, might not be intellectually or emotionally satisfying for the person they are meeting with. (Trust me no man will show this, but all men with real brains and real hearts feel this).*p*Although men always say that they are judges in the marriage market based on how much they earn, those who are trying to sell themselves in the market know that money isn’t all that they are judged by. *p*We men are judged by every angle from shape of our biceps to the distance from our thumb to our finger. And trust me that is as stressful and intimidating for men sa it is for woman. *p*Woman look for a complete man when they go shopping in the marriage market (and I do not mean complete as in wearing a cool three piece suit). Women look for emotions and feelings and understanding and balance and listening and all such things that some men haven’t even heard of as yet.*p**p*Next point I’ll continue in the next comment to avoid confusion.

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