What have I learnt about myself through my spouse!

They say we meet parts of ‘Self’ we don’t even know about when in close relationships. I understood that I lie to myself convincingly and believe in my lie with all my heart. But through him, with what I experience (which mocks my lie unabashedly to my face) I know how I trick my own Self. Share something about you?

28 replies
Raksha Bharadia
June 7, 2017


  1. Very beautifully explained, Andy. This is so so true. Even me and my partner take turns and make understand each other when we tend to over think 🙂

  2. The tea can only be poured in an empty cup, the cup which is already full will only spill and soil the surroundings. If we open our mind to our surroundings , we learn each day. King Bruce learned from the spider to never give up and won the battle which he had given up, so everyone teaches us something in life , good or bad. *p**p*Our partner , with whom we spend most part of our life , share our emotions, fears, everything can make us or break us , depending on how the relationship develops.*p**p*Both of us have learnt a lot from each other, but what I learnt is courage, wisdom, strength and the light at the end of the tunnel. I am not the kind of person who plans for 50 years in advance and take each day as it comes, often we give up, get depressed or situations tear us and here is where the other part of us plays their role. We keep switching our roles as and when the other one needs. My partner completes my life and the vacuum which sometimes takes over me. More than just partners , we are our best teachers and best students, we are soul mates.

  3. I went on a self-discovery journey only after i got married. I found that i was an idiot, and didn’t know a thing about myself. What am I? Who the hell am i? Am i at all?? My initial years spent in searching for what the problem was, the following, what the hell am i doing, and when will he change, the on going.. I don’t know, and its ok not to know. My journey with him as also made me a smarter human being. I am more aware of myself and i discovered my freedom also matters.

  4. With my husband, I feel more secure because he knows me well and understand my mood swifts very well. I am a different human being today because of him. He often make me realise my mistakes but in his own humble manner. His patience have made me learn how to be patient. Though, I sometimes feel that nobody can judge me better than me, irrespective of the bond that I share with the person concerned

  5. I think when we start dating, sex is the most defining aspect of the relationship. There is a world beyond that which we only learn with time…

  6. That no matter who you are, what public position and image you have, you can be your own true self only with someone whom you truly love… whether its baby talk, invectives, or any other socially inappropriate behaviour- but that, is the real me…i get to be myself when i’m with my wife. And its a mix, there’s not always just the silly stuff: in her presence is also where i dream some of the greatest possibilities of life….and again , as she would remind of the paradox: you think of the most flighty superhuman things, but always have to be taken care of, like a baby!

  7. This is true to some extent. But, how many parts of oneself does one come across in a normal life? There are so many chambers within us that remain locked till death. Same case with a life partner. One will be lucky if one meets six to seven parts of the other that match with one’s. More is being ambitious. If one is lucky, the partner will be of such caliber that he/she can go on opening your locked chambers and set the feelings free. Then, that will turn mutual and a very fruitful partnership can begin. Trick is, look for an open minded partner. (But, watch out some horrible people who hold their doors wide open and shut them once you are inside!)

  8. Reading your statement makes we want to delve deeper in to my relationship and search for what those aspects of self that my partner has echoed…definitely this is something I would like to ponder over..

Yes No