What if you do not have sexual compatibility with your husband/wife and you find this out after marriage?

What if you do not have sexual compatibility with your husband/wife and you find this out after marriage? Is this considered as an important aspect of the married life?

5 replies
Swati Mehra
June 7, 2017


  1. Sex is as usual and necessary like food, air or shelter. Its absence or incompatibility is one of the main reasons for divorce around the world. It may manifest itself in terms of infidelity or mental cruelty, but the root cause is often sex. In conservative families, women are constrained to express it. Such repression of desire or repulsion towards the physical acts may turn women aggressive or helpless, depending on her mind set. *p**p*It is a bad case to live with. *p*

  2. Yes, Swati, your rumination points to a critical area of discussion. Compatibility level is found out after marriage in most of the cases. Where it is found lacking is where crisis builds up. And the concerned partner has to take a call. If discussion/therapy leads to no improvement, then it leaves one with two options. Either continue with the facade of marriage or end it. If your partner does not object to your sexual relationships with others and if you do not feel you are cheating your partner, then probably you can keep the pretence alive. In case you find it is impossible to stay loyal and suffer because the partner makes no compromise, you have to take a harsh decision. Sexual aspect dominates the fate of the relationship. If you feel you are getting more from the partner in other ways like affection, care, security, then you have to weigh the pros and cons and arrive at a wise conclusion. After all, there is more to a marriage than the pleasures of having sex. *p*

  3. This is a complicated yet significant matter. Actually in a country like India, we do not take this as a serious issue but sex is important. An integral thing that keeps two married people happily attached. If any one is in a situation like this, it is always better for both partners to talk it out and try and improve things. In extreme cases, if you have to take a step, go ahead, do not feel shy about it.*p*

  4. Sexual compatibility is extremely important, it is a boding. I think the souple should visit a sexologist, work on it? *p*

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