What is precious to today’s young woman: freedom of choices or a commitment for long?

Today’s woman is educated, smart, competitive, unafraid to exercise her choices about men, among other things. They may seek care, they may desire gratification but they may contest hard to have a good night’s sleep on a Queen sized bed with no partner to reduce its space. She may crave a good company to share her tastes, but would not like to trade her rack of books with casually strewn electronic gadgets. She may favor a man for a long trip, but on her return she would like to have her ‘me’ time with her cat.Is commitment into a relationship becoming a threat to loose the personal space of being single? Is Japan an exception or a harbinger to the spreading trend.

8 replies
Tapan Mozumdar
June 7, 2017


Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am
JoyeetaTalukdar June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

It depends on the man with whom they want to share there relationship with. She is single, independent and needs her own space. If one respects her this contingency then she is also ready to balance but if one wants to completely irradicate her feelings then Japan is what shall happen next. It all depends on give respect and take respect, adjustments should be from both sides not from one side because that is what relationship is all about.

Hridaan June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Couples can have their own personal time even when they are in a relationship. It is just that both the partners should be aware of each other's wants. I am in a relationship and I make sure that both me and my partner get enough individual free time. What caused this celebacy in Japan is largely due to the backlash of rapid industrialization. Women in Japan have become more independent in the recent years but the conservative mindset still persists at households and in the workplace. This conflict has led them to confusion and with men indfferent about the prospect of finding a job with security, the mutual relationship has been hampered. What Japan is undergoing now is not new. It has the world's lowest birth rate and I feel it has nothing to do with not appreciating personal space. Although I would agree that hampering of personal space may be one of the reasons. But I do not know whether both your paragraphs comply or not.*p**p* *p*

Barnali Roy June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Commitment to someone doesn't translate into surrendering of personal space. At least it should not. The modern woman values her individuality, her tastes and her right to have personal choices. She wants a relationship based on mutual respect and give-and-take. No relationship gives the right to anyone to dominate or suffocate the other. Today's woman recognises this and demands that she be treated well. And men should also realize that fact and try to keep their own egos in check. Hovering over your woman all the time is not cool!*p*

SaumyaTewari June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

So far I have not met a man who might understand that women need time off to watch matches as well; to take trips alone, play video games and/or not want to share a bed all the time!*p**p*Commitment is important, but it has to come with equality- for example, child bearing is the one thing only women can do, (and I feel sorry that men can't)- but child rearing is a shared activity. Mommy needs her space too!*p**p*I think women were always independent and wanted their space in relationships- I have seen that in both my grandmothers- one a college professor and one completely illeterate- but both lamented about power dynamics in their marriage! Except, now women can choose to not be in relationships to lose their space.*p*

Jamuna Rangachari June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

A balance of both is what is required for all, both men and women to lead a complete life, in my opinion.*p*

Gail Sinha June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

I don't believe today's woman has an issue with commitment and it's not really a 'choose between this or that' situation.  Economic independence has led to continually evolving women, beyond buying/spending power.  Men are evolving too but, perhaps, not at the rapid pace that women are. Today, when establishing the dynamics of a relationship, men struggle to keep pace with understanding that a woman's needs are several and diverse. The good news is that men are trying – trying to break away from inculcated belief systems. Social needs / love / companionship etc are strong needs for today's woman but they want it on equitable terms. Commitment & personal space are possible if women have partners that understand that it's possible to colour outside the lines and establish a dynamic that works for both. Women are not consciously shying away from commitment but due to their financial independence, they are not succumbing to parental / societal / biological pressure but just giving themselves the space and time to pursure what they want for theirlives, while seeking what they hope to have in a relationship.*p*

Prachi Sharma June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

This literally describes me. I am first about myself, and am more than able to take care of me and am enough for myself.*p*

Raisha June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

As women are carving our own spaces and identity, we become more guarded as well. There was a time a woman's identity lay with her husband. Now many young women are becoming their own selves. Of course this means that she's with a man not because she can't be alone. But because she chooses to be with him. And even while dating, or married, each should not lose their individuality. *p*

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