What makes a love marriage fall apart?

I am always baffled when a couple (thatmarried for love) that I have known and admired for years announces that they are separating and are eventually going through divorce. Where does the love go? Why do love marriages end?

15 replies
Aarti Pathak
June 7, 2017

15 comments

Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am
Preeti June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Loss of respect. Taking the other for granted. Immaturity to understand that real life is not all love and roses.Sometimes unrealistic expectations from partner and inability to understad that its not a toy you can get on demand. Could be due to personality traits that later surface. Many reasons. Nothing lasts forever.*p*

Tina June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

I read so much on this! People put their best foot forward during love marriage and then slowly let the other sides come out. So they start at their best without thinking they wld ever need to compromise! That's the problem. *p**p* *p**p*Also in the long run…the differences in how two people have beem brought up starts creating small annoyances which then turn into big ones! *p*

Aman Singh June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

I think they forget about the intimate moments of joy they have shared together. And they also forget how important they used to be once for each other. And, if there is someone else in the marriage then it's even worse. Because that someone keeps taking the person away from his or her marriage. People when they get that extra attention from someone else end up falling for them. It's sad but that's how it is. But, if it's true love, none this can affect the bond.*p*

Ayushi June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Sometimes the things go a little out of control. One mistake which becomes to unforgivable. And one can't look past it no matter how much love and trust was there. And that is how people go away in love marriages. But this doesn't happen at once but eventually. And you really can't do anything about it. People can fall out of love too if they do not keep having the moments of love and compassion from time to time. *p*

DrSanjeevTrivedi June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

In absence of understanding, love, care and sense of responsibility any marriage can fall apart. Many so called arranged marriages also do not work out.*p**p* *p**p*In a typical love marriage the element of going against family or society, may be a little more. Since the couple has already revolted, the repetition by way of separation may be easier than a typical marriage where the say of the other members of the family may be more and therefore mediation becomes easier. As a result to repair a marriage about to break, may be possible.*p*

Aarti Pathak June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

… hmm and it is always heartbreaking to see.. must be far-far worse to go through…*p*

Aarti Pathak June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

So beautifully expressed. I guess these are one of the factors.. change in our situation/priorities/responsibilties… *p**p*Love your last line Antara – 'some people sail through it..the rest file for divorce!'*p**p*.. and to each his own.*p*

Aarti Pathak June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

I agree, Loss of respect is a deal breaker. *p**p*A healthy relationship cannot survive on love alone.*p*

Aarti Pathak June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

'Forgetting the intimate moments of joy' can be lethal for a relationship, thats true. And gawd! I can't even bring myself to think of a third person in anyones relationship. Sure shot disaster for the couple.*p*

Aarti Pathak June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

" I think we become complacent after a love marriage because we have beaten the odds to unite with each other and that is why we take the relationship for granted." *p**p*So well said! The key then wpuld be to stay connected, keep communicating and to keep surprising your partner :)*p*

Aarti Pathak June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Yeah you're right Tina! Reading the comments of this thread have actually helped me understand exactly how a 'love marriage' can fall apart and that it is not that shocking a thing to happen. 🙁 *p*

Aarti Pathak June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

That is so well put across Dr Sanjeev. I've always disliked seeing my friends who've been together for years break up…*p*

Deepa June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Really depends on both individuals….just like when they fell in love, it is upto them to carry on with the same feeling….but yes when priorities change and life throws various kinds of situations at you….you tend to lose that romance and i guess it just makes the marriage fall apart….*p*

Antara Rakesh June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Having had a first hand experience of a love marriage. I guess..mostly when we fall in love we are in a different phase and set up of life. college or high school. our priorities are different. we devote a lot of time to our looks, leisure, light mannered activities. we fall for someone and that someone gives us so much love and importance because their age and lifestyle allow them to do so.*p**p*once we get married however, prioritie change. responsibilites shoot up and the relaties of life hit us hard. we cant anymore do what we used to do. challenges in life make us show our hidden sides to one another. and these traits are not necessarily very adorable!! egos vome up and so do differences and the sweet romantic US get lost somewhere.. some people sail through it..the rest file for divorce!*p*

Ashutosh June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

You never know the future that is the case. At one point the love may seem unshakeable but at another point it may feel fragile. This is how life is. I think complacency plays a big part in separation. I think we become complacent after a love marriage because we have beaten the odds to unite with each other and that is why we take the relationship for granted. We feel that we have secured our soulmate and therefore do not care about keeping the relationship alive. We do not try invigorating the passion and surprise from time to time. That is where it falls apart. We fail to communicate because we feel we already know everything and there is nothing new. That is why the element of surprise in the relationship should always be there. The love does not go. It only finds a new shelter.*p*

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