Who should take the tab on the first date? And what does it mean?

We’ve all been on atleast one date. And it was probably a coffee shop or dine out or movie or something. Traditional ‘dating rules’ say the guy must bear the damages. But with changing times, is this rule changing too?It’s just a bill – not about life and death – but people do judge and what we do in certain situations can give out signals.What do you think? What did / would you do?

11 replies
Vishal Sampat
June 7, 2017


Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am
Lekha Menon June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

If it’s the first date, I would rather go dutch. Simply because on the first date, both of you are judging each other. It’s natural, let’s admit it. So why have any obligation? If the first date leads to more dates, I wouldn’t mind if the man pays occasionally 🙂

KrutiPatel June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

I think it’s chivalrous of the man to pay for the first date, later depending on the equation they can decide what suits best to the man and to the woman. A little pampering from both sides hurts neither.

Manoj Jain June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

i guess i am old school on this one…i think its gentlemanly for a man to pay on the first date*p*

DrSanjeevTrivedi June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Focusing on what is valuable is better than looking for things of much lesser importance. When the person is of greater importance, the beahviour would show and that is what people watch. Ideally the man should pay but if it pleases the lady, I would gently smile and allow her to take the previlage.*p*

modernromeo June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

I think it is nice to pay for the woman, women want it too. It’s pampering.

Mira June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

In general, I follow the modern rule “Whoever invites, pays the bill” So if I have invited a guy friend for casual coffee or so,…, I would insist on me paying. *p*But if it’s a ‘date’,… well Sorry guys,.. but If its a date I would expect the guy to be the very best as per the ‘old book’. I would expect him to pay, I would expect him to do every single thing to make it a special one <3 *p*I wouldn't mind if a guy on a date expects me to pay. I will. But I sure wouldn't go on a second date.. may friend-zone him though.

SampurnaMajumder June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Well, I am quite old-fashioned in these terms. While I would definitely offer to go for the Dutch style, however, if he chooses to pay the final bill….I would be happy. The gesture is traditionally, gentlemanly

Vivek June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

My thoughts could be a bit scattered but I’ll try to make sense. *p**p*Men are expected to be chivalrous. They’re asked to hold the door, pay the bill etc..And I think it’s a good thing. Like my boss says, men wouldn’t come into existence had there been no women. I feel women should command that men pay the bill or hold doors. This is one side of it. And I would not judge a woman if she’s aware that women are in every way better than men, and hence commands respect. This is one side of it. *p**p*Being a feminist, I feel every human being should expect fellow human beings to be chivalrous and courteous. Regardless of gender, both men and women should hold the door, be kind, be thoughtful, be generous and be just. In this case as well, I wouldn’t judge anyone, men or women, who want the other person to pay a bill, or if that person wants to pay.*p**p*Third part to this. If you go on a date and feel you’d never click with the person midway, split the bill maybe. If you’re looking forward for many more dates, ensure you take turns. I also feel the person who earns more, who obviously can afford more, should pay. Be it a man or a woman.

Raul Sodat Najwa June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

Interesting *p*The day I started dating I made a thumb rule *p*I only dated girls who were ready to share the damage with me *p*Why should girls should have all the fun?? *p*When we both can have fun by sharing the bill ??

Hridaan June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

It is true. When I took my girlfriend for a date, we had to dutch the bill because it was a bit costly but it never seemed to matter to us because we had a great time. So it is the initiative that should matter and not the money. *p*

Shahnaaz June 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

There needn’t be a hard and fast rule. I do always offer to pay on the first date, but the guy refuses. So if there’s a second date I pick the place and take the cheque. This way we can see what the other person likes and pay according to our budget.

Leave a Comment