Whom will you help – the woman in the troubled relation or the man?

The question just stopped me in my tracks? Whom i will choose to help? My friend or his/her better half? Will i let better sense prevail? or will i get emotional about the issue?Who will i work to save?

24 replies
June 7, 2017


  1. that is the point. most of the people are scared to understand the fact that they are more than that problamatic relationship and that they have the option of walking out. today nothing is written in stone. if you are unhappy then walk out.*p*

  2. You must your friend. You have to keep eyes on both sides who are pefectly correct. You have to balance the matter.*p*

  3. You must your friend. You have to keep eyes on both sides who are pefectly correct. You have to balance the matter.*p*

  4. I do not think an objective assesment is possible. A slight bias for one party will prevail for sure. I think if you are good friends with both of them then you should just talk to both of them about it and not take sides. At the end of the day all you would want is that things fall into place for both of them especially when they are connected to each other. Just try as much as possible to listen to reason over emotion.*p*

  5. This has to do with hope. When we are madly in love with someone and do not want to let them go we try to hang in there even if they are abusive. This is hope. We hope someday they will realise their mistake and make it up to us. But sadly it does not always happen. Its plain human behavior.*p*

  6. I would first try and support whoever is my friend, either the man or the woman, and then if possible give some support to the partner too! *p**p*But to be stuck between quarrelling partners and trying to be neutral to their problems is a difficult task. *p*

  7. I believe we end up speaking to our friend, simply because his/her spouse is not likely to share the detail with us – unless we are asked to intervene and play the mediator.*p**p*When we speak to our friend, it is not a question of whose side to take, but to remain as neutral as possible – as a psychologist would. This does not mean we don't give the emotional support that our friend requires – often psychologists give that too, not so much by telling the person that they are by his/her side, but by helping them calm down. And then by helping them see the issue by putting themselves in the spouse's shoes too.*p**p*I do believe we try to save the relationship, not just one person or the other – except in cases where things are harsh – which agains brings us to the calming things bit.     *p*

  8. A crooked tail  never changes it's shape no matter what one does.*p**p*.so if you are in a physically abusive relationship ..give an ultimatum with a time frame .if you find a change then  see for a while more and decide later and if no or little change then pack your bags and leave as the victimiser will be  encouraged and    continue doing the  same and take you for granted..*p**p*If it is an  emotionally abusive relationship then seek professional help   as there can be many shades which one can not always judge correctly . So before quitting be sure you are doing the right thing ..*p*

  9. Hi Anmol,*p**p*Realtionships are built to last…not to be broken when either of the partner errs.*p**p*Patience is the name of the game and yes also putting your EGO aside…so having said that- everyone gives their relationship a try ..a final shot…cause otherwise the guilt of not having tried enough hangs heavy on ones concience.So what may seem like suffering to us as outsiders is actually their attempt at trying to give it that FINAL GO TOWARDS HAPPINESS!(that should answer your first question)*p**p*But one certainly should know when to say stop! Abuse physical or emotional is a big NO NO! The question then comes as  to how many of us are prepared or updated with this knowledge? How many of us know the real meaning of ABUSE?*p**p*An abusive relationship is not just one persons fault..the other partner is equally responsible as he/she is allowing that to happen out of fear or insecurity of some kind which tends to give the absusive partner an upper hand.So being self sufficient independent strong become the foremost qualities to be developed and true and correct knowledge of ones rights (mind u this is for both the man n the woman)is the other aspect that one needs to know enough about.So if you know of someone suffering a bad marriage or relationship they need assistance in these areas first.*p**p*They need to know "how to step out"!*p**p*they need to know "they are not the only ones"*p**p*they need to know "there's help just round the corner"*p**p*We as bystanders cannot just give our opinions , one shoe will never fit all! -WE NEED TO HELP THEM OUT !(which i wonder how many of us would actually step out to do?)*p**p* *p*