Why are body-types are on the rise? How can we look beyond bodies at this time and age?

The body has become such an important entity in the LGBT scenario, particulary in the gay community, that we are defined by the amount of body hair we have (hairy), or how lean is our waist (jock) or how heavy one is (bear/otter), even age – for some one who looks older, the freudian idea of being a parent to your lover (daddy). How are these body images concerned with the kind of men one should be or should not be attracted to? How is it affecting the larger LGBT population who may not subscribe to these ideas and may be having bodies which do not fall under any such categories (most of them find mentioning in dating apps like Grindr or PlanetRomeo)? How are they contributing to the increased body images issues amongst the youth and the ones growing older in solitude? How does it increase/decrease the probability of finding a partner like in the days of falling in love with a random person who we may meet on the road, a cafe, a bar or in a movie theater? Could this be a potential bomb ticking away to lead to clinical depression amongst the LGBT population on a mass scale?

6 replies
Gaurav Deka
June 7, 2017


Anonymous July 13, 2017 - 10:22 am
Aarti Pathak June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

So far had never thought beyond how the Television and Music videos affect my own little children's perception of body and its image. *p**p*I have no way of knowing the answer to this question, but I read it twice… as it got me thinking…  So I will say here what I tell my children (and try daily to remember myself!) – one of the best material/physical qualities which one can have is a calm confidence about oneself. I feel a self assured individual will eventually find his/her space under the sun regardless of body hair/type etc etc… *p**p*I seriously hope that these body image issues are not leading up to a ticking time bomb of depression! (In case you do know someone who is bothered and depressed due to body issues, you know you can lead them towards the warm Bonobology team of counsellors 🙂 *p**p* *p**p* *p*

Aarti Pathak June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Yeah I agree. You like someone, just go talk to them. *p**p*Life is too short to live in fear, doubts and what ifs. And confidence (not over confidence) is one of the most powerful and admirable qualities that one can carry.*p*

ShuchiSinghKalra June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

I think the issue is deep-rooted and not dependant on a person's sexuality. Even heterosexual people face the same. It stems from the unrealistic ideals of beauty that are propagated by the media and the fashion industry. There is indeed no room for people who are outliers and fall outside of the pre-set stereotypes of beauty. This obsession with a specific body type is something we need to collectively fight as a society. Here's something I wrote on the subject: http://www.shuchikalra.com/chose-plus-sized-heroine-novel/*p**p* Please read and share your thoughts on the same.*p*

Waseem Imam Saheb June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Its predominantly due to the psychological conditioning that the media creates and promotes… fair skin… muscular body etc are promoted on magazines as what should aspirable. While ut may not be said in words. What we see subliminally conditions us to think and behave in a certain way. What we see becomes acceptable to us in a psychological way. Thats why the visibility of all different body types and of lgbt people in media is so important because it influences us subliminally*p*

Bhagyashree Sowani June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

This is really a very sad post. I always thought that girls suffer from body image issues. You have pointed out that it is much worse for LGBT. I can see why this is so. You have so much trouble to just get accepted for who you are starting with the parents. Lgbt probably face more bullying and teasing at school. Its no wonder why they hate themselves and their bodies. Also finding a meaningful relationship is tough when people are so superficial. *p**p*Probably the only solution is to focus on your own unique identity by developing your skills and knowledge.*p**p*Also look up at celebrities like Elton John and Princess Diana who talked about their body image problem. *p**p*Learn to stand up to anyone who makes you feel inferior. *p*

Arjun Awasthi June 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

So, there are two ways to look at it. First of all, it is a way to take back an identity and to create a community surrounding that identity. The second part is fetishism, which means that certain people are attracted to a certain category of an individual based on their attributes. *p**p*Men are visual and appearance is important because it (superficially) creates a sense of worthiness and belonging. *p**p*It's tough but don't dwell on this. This sort of talk is more prevalent on apps where these aforementioned men have their own insecurities. The bottom line is that confidence is the most important thing, and if you are in a social situation speak up to the guy you are interested in. *p*

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