Why do men shy away from relationship discussions?

I find that women find it easy to talk about partners, men like to keep mum? Is it that they do not feel as much or they just think it is strictly private business?

59 replies
Raksha Bharadia
June 7, 2017


  1. I think men themselves are not sure what they are feeling. and when they do know, they are afraid of coming out as an emotional cry baby and that won't go with their macho personality. that is why most wives cry because their husbands are unable to express themselves or avoid relationship issues. *p**p*somewhere women are to be blamed too. we think it's our responsibility to feel everything and we feel enough for the both. think about it if a single girl is approached by a caring say-everything- on-the -face kind of person then he would be marked as gay and if the same guy approaches as aloof or sturdy then he will be an eye catcher. *p**p*men love to express when they do know what they are feeling. it's just the fear of coming out as not so manly I think.*p*

  2. I've found men to be a lot more guarded about their relationships. Women are more open. Especially among friends. That's just how the genders work I guess. Men are also raised to keep their problems to themselves and not share much. Although I've known many men who discuss any relationship issues with people they trust, and many women who keep matters to themselves. *p**p* *p*

  3. I have had this discussion with a couple of male friends. And I have known both kinds- the ones who don't talk about their relationships at all, and a few who are quite expressive and open. The majority are the former, of course.*p**p*A friend once told me that he feels very comfortable and secure not talking about his relationships. Not even to his family members at times! He feels that there is no need to talk about something so 'personal and private'. But I think that is his opinion.*p**p*Another friend was always very open about all his affairs. Rather, proud of it! But when he found the girl he has ultimately settled down with, he was very secretive about it. It was only much later that friends got to know that he was seriously seeing someone and intended to marry her. Perhaps, this is what happens to guys when they actually fall in love! They don't want anyone else to eye their lady love?!*p**p*Men, in general in my opinion are very private people. They have their boundaries very clearly set on how much to discuss with whom. They perhaps have that one friend (male or female), with whom they can share everything. A group of friends with whom they discuss women in general, or casual flings. Friends with whom they just like to drink and party and not discuss anything about their personal lives. I guess we all have that too. But men are very pragmatic and under no circumstances let anyone into their lives more than required.*p**p*I don't believe that men don't feel as much. I have known men who are extremely emotional about their partners, or their relationships. Some have been hung up on their exes for years after the latter moved on! They feel. But they think it's too 'girly' a thing to express their feelings, lest they will be made fun of. Or being emotional isn't a macho thing.*p**p*Also, they don't like to talk more than necessary. And hate being questioned! So I guess this is another reason men don't like to talk about their relationships. They don't like interfernce, and letting someone else become curious about their relationship, a big no!*p**p*So I guess they have reasons best known to them (which can be very annoying for us women), to be so private or at times even appear stuck up. But men will always be men, and nothing in this world will change that! :-)*p*

  4. This is an age-old discussion but is something that needs to be unearthed regularly to create an understanding of how this can be a potential deal breaker in a relationship. The act of discussion of emotions that one feels with someone in the concept of a relationship is a precarious act to engage in. When a significant other has to edge towards the topic to talk about it is generally met with resistance from the other and in majority of relationships where one person can identify as the dominant partner – generally a male – the idea of talking about feelings is an act of emasculation that occurs in their psyche. *p**p*This can also leave the initiator of the conversation in a different light being seen as needy and insecure by the dominant personality. There is always a matter of tact and suttle coercion that needs to occur when one raises this topic in order to ensure that the discussion remains honest without any judgement against each other. *p**p*Like in sex you will bare your physical self with your intimate partner, are you the type that wants the lights out when you get to it or are you okay with being seen in natural light? It’s almost the same way that one can attribute a discussion of emotions. *p**p*The questions you need to ask yourself before you decide to ‘talk about it’*p*If a talk about emotional quotients is being tabled between a couple the following in my opinion need to be carefully navigated and for obvious reasons.*p**p*1. Why do you need to talk about your feelings or host this discussion with your lover? *p*2. Why do you need to hear what your partner has to say? Are you not clearly seeing this in your relationship during day-to-day acts of affection? *p*3. Are you trying to jump the gun and are the type that wants to have a forecast of where your relationship is going? *p*4. Are you jealous of your partners’ minimum requirement of affection to function daily? Do you need more love from or feel you need to give more? *p*5. Are you scared and of what?*p**p*The outcomes to prepare yourself for*p*1. You WILL push your partner to a point where you will make them feel inadequate.*p*2. They will see you as a needy person who can’t seem to be in check with his/her feelings. *p*3. You will drive each other apart and force the emasculated partner to seek comfort in another’s arms.*p*4. The two of you will grow to love each other more if your discussion does not end up in a full out argument. *p**p*These are just some of the basic outcomes I can attest to from previous relationships and discussions with other individuals. I hope this helps here.

  5. Well, men who keep quiet about their partners are doing so because they feel that it is their private business. However, there are some men who like to brag about how they dominated in bed on their first night, to their friends. Both these men are found in feudal households. Ultimately, it depends on how men are brought up during their childhood. If they are taught by their parents that talking about their partners in public is bad, they will not do it when they are adults. So it all depends on a person’s upbringing.

  6. I wish a man would actually think about this and come up with an answer, as to why. Because as much as we all would like to opine, this could be the reason and analyze no one really can tell, except men. And i really think, they themselves avoid thinking of such deeper questions, women will ponder and think while men!!! Its a difficult question, I really want to hear from a man, why do they keep mum?? Just why?

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