Why do men think that helping the wife is shameful or makes them henpecked?

A friend of mine says that her husband helps her with chores only if she agrees not to discuss the same in his family, he is OK lending her support but no one should know, especially his mom. What is shameful in letting the world know that a husband cares for his wife?

37 replies
June 7, 2017


  1. Mostly, like in my case, they are either incapable or lazy to help out in the house activities.

  2. O same old story. It is again the mom. Who always made him feel that you do not have to do any chores. And this husband is scared that she will come and tell him how is he helping the wife when he never helped his mom. Joru ka ghulam. He will never have the guts to say that you never asked me to help and my wife does. When a mom appreciates that her son is helping his wife, he will never be shameful to disclose it. Come on men, grow up. Respect your mom, love her, but then your wife is also important. Why is there this feud between these 2 relationships? *p*

  3. Ah! This is civilisation. Since ages, women are known to work at homes, and men outside, hence when they find a role reversal, they will ask you to keep quiet about it: else the herd will come to know about it. It's still tribal dynamics my friend, people need to start getting out of this stone age mentality. How far we can, that is the question! *p*

  4. This is because they’ve been brought up this way. Told by their mothers since they were kids that this task is for girls, this for you and so on. And then one gem who helps his wife in the kitchen is termed joru ka gulaam….so it stays on in the mind. Men begin to believe that once they get married, never to get into the kitchen or help with house work.*p*Why do men abroad share all the work with their wives? They have been brought up with the same rules that apply to women.

  5. I think its considered a taboo in our society because our spouses have seen only their mom’s slogging in the house since we can even remember…. our dad’s used to come home from office and not even lift a spoon… so even our husband’s have the same mindset that since they slog in the office, working at home is against their ego cause most of their colleagues don’t do so…*p*But I believe now times are changing and so is the thought process of our men… they are now willing to share the workload at home…. to some extent!

  6. That’s because we are living in a patriarchal society, where man is expected to earn bread. They are unquestionable, to a certain extent. Perception of a male growing up in the society is moulded accordingly. Further, the relatives, including your mother in law, who is a female herself would not like her son to work in kitchen. Since she has never seen such a thing and consider that to be inappropriate. However, the concept is changing slowly, and may take some time for the nation understand that both men and women can work together. Let it be in a spacecraft or in kitchen.

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